Metaplanet’s Bitcoin Gambit: 4,279 BTC & a Dash to Treasury Glory 🚀

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Metaplanet, that audacious Japanese entity, has once more flung itself into the tempest of bitcoin acquisition, seizing 4,279 BTC with the fervor of a miser clutching his last coin. The grand total now? A staggering 35,102 BTC-enough to make even the most jaded Wall Street analyst roll their eyes skyward.

The publicly traded firm, whose name sounds like a cross between a sci-fi novel and a corporate tax evasion scheme, announced its latest BTC haul on Tuesday, a mere day after Strategy’s own 1,229 BTC spree. One might call it a dance of greed, but let us not forget: the CEO, Simon Gerovich, took to X-that digital agora of modern times-to trumpet the news. A man who clearly believes in transparency… or perhaps just a well-timed press release.

At 3:30 p.m. EST, Metaplanet’s holdings amounted to $3.09 billion, a figure that would make a miser weep… if only the price of BTC would cooperate. Alas, at $88,096 per coin, the market hums along like a stubborn donkey, while Metaplanet’s average acquisition price of $107,606 sits there, a monument to hubris. One wonders if the company’s accountants have started whispering incantations to the crypto gods.

The fourth-quarter buying spree, one suspects, concluded just as BTC slipped below $100,000-a harebrained timing move akin to betting on a horse that’s already crossed the finish line. Yet, with 35,102 BTC in hand, Metaplanet now clings to its fourth-place throne among bitcoin treasuries, edging out rivals with the subtlety of a bulldozer. Prior to Q4, it held 30,823 BTC-narrowly outmaneuvering Bitcoin Standard Treasury Company’s 30,021 BTC. A war of attrition waged in the shadows of the blockchain.

As for Metaplanet’s shares? They’ve plummeted 74% in six months, shedding another 13% in five days. A performance so dismal it could make a bear market blush. Yet, year to date, the stock clings to a meager 8% gain-a cruel jest for investors who dared to hope. All told, it’s a tale as old as time: a battered stock, a mountain of BTC bought at a price that now seems laughably optimistic, and a CEO who likely still believes in the “long-term bet.”

While the shares languish, Metaplanet persists in its BTC hoarding, a Sisyphus of the cryptocurrency world. Volatility dances on the screen, while conviction-dubious though it may be-lingers on the balance sheet. A comedy of errors, played out in millions.

FAQ ❓

  • How much BTC does Metaplanet hold? Metaplanet holds 35,102 BTC after adding 4,279 BTC during Q4-enough to fill a swimming pool with coins, if such a thing existed.
  • When did Metaplanet buy the BTC? The purchases were made in Q4 2025, before BTC fell below $100,000. A decision that now reads like a cautionary tale written in hexadecimal.
  • How much did Metaplanet pay for its BTC? The company’s average acquisition price stands at $107,606 per BTC-a sum that now feels like a love letter to the past.
  • How has Metaplanet’s stock performed in 2025? Shares are up 8% YTD, a triumph akin to finding a single green shoot in a desert of red ink. 🐎

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2025-12-31 00:53