Metaplanet Buys Bitcoin Like It’s on Sale, Stock Price Screams ‘Nope!’ 😱

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So, Metaplanet just went full-on hoarder mode with Bitcoin—because apparently, when life gives you lemons, you trade them for cryptocurrency. 🍋➡️₿ The Tokyo-based investment firm bought another 463 bitcoins, bringing its total stash to 17,595 BTC, worth over 261 billion yen ($1.78 billion). Yes, that’s enough zeroes to make your accountant either cry or quit.

But here’s the kicker: while they were busy stacking sats like a toddler building a LEGO tower, their stock price decided to take a nosedive. On Monday, it fell 7.15%, leaving it roughly 50% below its June highs. Oof. That’s like buying a yacht while your house is flooding. 🛳️🌊

BTCBTC$114,516.03◢0.74%

Metaplanet spent 7.995 billion yen ($540 million) on this latest shopping spree, paying an average of 17.3 million yen per bitcoin. And if you’re wondering why anyone would buy something so expensive while their stock is tanking, well, join the club. Maybe they think Bitcoin will someday be worth more than oxygen? At this rate, I’m starting to believe them.

Meanwhile, Metaplanet’s share price slid to 987 yen on Monday, almost 50% below its June peak. This company seems determined to become Asia’s version of a Bitcoin ETF—or maybe just the world’s most expensive piggy bank. 🐷💰

Oh, and let’s not forget their “BTC Yield,” which sounds like some kind of farming metric but is actually how much Bitcoin they’ve accumulated per share. For Q4 2024, it was a whopping 309.8%. By August 4, though, it had slowed to 52.6%. So basically, they’re still winning, but now it’s more like a participation trophy. 🏆

In conclusion, Metaplanet is either a genius-level chess player or that one friend who insists on buying lottery tickets every week. Either way, we’re all just sitting here eating popcorn, waiting to see if this ends in triumph or tragedy. 🍿💥

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2025-08-04 12:56