Bestselling bank finally says okay to Bitcoin, but keeps custody plans in the freezer 🍰🤔

JPMorgan, the behemoth of finance, has boomed its horns to declare: “Buy Bitcoin if you dare!” despite the chuckles of Jamie Dimon, who’s been a perennial skeptic—like that one uncle at the family barbecue, always warning about the “bubble.” 😂

Recently, this old titan danced a jig—completing its first public transaction of tokenized treasuries. Ah, progress! But don’t get too excited; the grand master of the fortress still keeps Bitcoin custody plans in the cellar, while offering customers the keys to buy their digital gold. Because why not? 🤑

The bank’s strategy appears to shift faster than a cat avoiding a bath. Once cautiously peering at crypto from behind fortress walls, JPMorgan now invites them into the living room—albeit with a wary eye. The move involves partnerships with Chainlink and Ondo Finance—because why not mix a little blockchain spice into the stew? 🌐

And who could forget? Despite Mr. Dimon’s stern face, the bank has dabbled in blockchain with more gusto than a kid in a candy store, all as cryptocurrencies gain mainstream stage during 2025. Someone’s finally realized that maybe, just maybe, crypto is not a fleeting mirage but perhaps… the future? Or at least a very entertaining distraction. 😏

So next time JPMorgan says “yes” to Bitcoin, remember, it’s more like a reluctant nod—like a grumpy old man agreeing to dance at the wedding, all the while pondering if he should’ve stayed home. 🧓💃

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2025-05-19 19:52