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How One Company Bought More Bitcoin Than You Can Definitely Imagine

BBG News

Bitcoin treasury outfit Strategy has decided that what it really needed was a few thousand extra Bitcoins—because, obviously, if a little is good, then a mountain is better. To the tune of $555.8 million, they went and scooped up 6,556 shiny digital coins, making their vault look like the dragons’ hoard in Discworld. Spoiler: No fire-breathing involved, but the HODLing is just as intense. 🐉💰

Strategy Bitcoin Bet: Key Details

Press releases (and probably some frantic legal paperwork) reveal they dropped an average of $84,785 per Bitcoin. You might wonder what you’d do with $84,785— Strategy decided to just buy a whole Bitcoin instead. Now, with a casual puff of their vape pens, they hold a hefty 538,200 Bitcoins—more than a goblin at a gem convention could count before their fingers tangled.

This isn’t their first rodeo either. Earlier this year, they nabbed 6,911 Bitcoins for $584.1 million, right when Bitcoin flirted with $87,000. Clearly, they have the patience of a librarian and the appetite of a troll eating a village.

For those counting at home (perhaps because you have too much free time), Strategy’s whole Bitcoin binge adds up to approximately $36.47 billion. That’s enough to fund several wars, fancy dinner parties, or perhaps just a really, really, really expensive hat collection. The average cost per coin rests at about $67,766, which in Pratchett-esque terms is roughly equivalent to a small kingdom’s annual tax revenue.

Meanwhile, Bitcoin’s price has taken a little leisurely stroll upward to $87,319.30, a 3.47% increase in the last day. Apparently, even digital gold appreciates like a fine dwarf ale.🍺💸

Strategy’s approach—investing treasure chests’ worth of fiat into Bitcoin rather than stashing cash or hoarding gold—isn’t some mad scientist’s whimsy. Nay, it’s years of turning over historical stones and charts, finding that Bitcoin’s curve looks suspiciously like… well, success. This strategy has made investors blink and crypto-watchers do a double take faster than you can say, “I told you so.”

Michael Saylor Says Bitcoin Still Beating Gold

Michael Saylor, Strategy’s ringleader and fearless Chairman, insists Bitcoin is the knight in digital armour, a better store of value than the old lumpen gold hoard. As he recently (and likely with a gleam in his eye) proclaimed:

Bitcoin has no counterparty risk. No company. No country. No creditor. No currency. No competitor. No culture. Not even chaos.

— Michael Saylor (@saylor) April 19, 2025

That’s right. Bitcoin is the financial equivalent of a magical chest that can’t be stolen by dragons, bandits, or even bureaucratic fog—essentially, the stuff dreams (and spreadsheets) are made of.

Strategy’s enthusiasm for Bitcoin is no passing fancy—it’s a full-on courtship dance. And just to spice up their repertoire, they’ve launched a new perpetual stock called Strife (STRF) on Nasdaq. Unlike traditional shares, this is designed for serious Bitcoin acquiring, which is either brilliant or borderline mad, depending on your point of view (and how much you own in Dogecoin). 🐕‍🔥

Not to be outdone, the ambitious upstart Metaplanet sneaked into the cryptosphere holding 319 Bitcoins, gatecrashing the party as the ninth-largest public holder. Proof that in the grand game of crypto thrones, there’s always someone eager to grab a seat—or three—at the table.

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2025-04-21 23:17

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