How BlackRock’s Bitcoin Dump Sparked Chaos-And Why Jerome Powell Is Laughing

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The world’s most corpulent financial octopus, BlackRock, spent this week shaking its tentacles and wringing out nearly half a billion dollars’ worth of Bitcoins-a spectacle closely resembling a jaded magician discarding rare coins just to irk the audience and keep the children guessing. What provoked this hasty laundering of digital assets? A lamentable outflow from the iShares Bitcoin ETF, of course. You know, the ETF: BlackRock’s favorite silk handkerchief.

Behold! BlackRock Unloads $500 Million In Bitcoin With the Grace of a Sleepwalker 💤

As per Arkham’s vigilant eyes, BlackRock has transferred a sum of approximately $500 million in Bitcoin to Coinbase, presumably for the great ritual of “selling.” Why? Because the iShares Bitcoin ETF saw more red than a matador’s laundry day. The streak of outflows began August 18, with a deliciously ominous $68.72 million vanishing, followed by waves of $220 million, $127.49 million, and finally $198.81 million on subsequent days. Someone at BlackRock was evidently keeping score-or playing darts blindfolded.

The entire ETF collective, bless their cold wallets, endured about $1.2 billion in net outflows since August 15-over $1.1 billion just this week. The result? A malaise so fierce that Bitcoin price collapsed to $112,000-a figure which, no doubt, caused crypto hodlers to clutch their hardware wallets and vow never again to check the charts after midnight. All this carnage came post-ATH of $124,000, and then-boom! Down to earth with the speed of a falling soufflé.

Jerome Powell To The Rescue! 🎩✨

Just when every ETF manager was eyeing the escape hatch, along came dear Jerome Powell with his Jackson Hole speech, lightly hinting at a possible rate cut in September. Voilà! The market, ever sensitive to the sound of central bankers threading needles, rebounded. On August 22, BlackRock alone persisted in leaking coins like a dubious fountain, while Cathie Wood’s Ark Invest gleefully welcomed $65.47 million-presumably accompanied by celebratory emojis in Wood’s group chats.

Elsewhere in ETFland-Fidelity ($50.88 million), Van Eck ($26.41 million), Franklin Templeton ($13.51 million), Bitwise ($12.70 million), and Grayscale ($6.42 million)-all filled their nets, as if Bitcoin were on sale at the digital farmer’s market. BlackRock, ever the contrarian uncle at the family reunion, recorded yet another $198.81 million outflow, achieving a group net outflow of $23.15 million. But as the Bitcoin price rebounded, hope fluttered: next week, even BlackRock’s notorious IBIT might try to behave.

As I scribble these words, Bitcoin lounges at a decadent $115,900, up a sprightly 2%-chased by countless calculators on CoinMarketCap. The crypto opera continues: faint, glimmering, absurd, and always just one Jerome Powell wink from another plot twist. 🥇

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2025-08-23 16:05