Hold onto Your Wallets: Crypto Drama Unfolds!

This week is like a suspense thriller, but with more spreadsheets. The US government shutdown has turned data releases into a game of “guess and hope.” On Monday, OPEC drops its Monthly Report (cue dramatic music), followed by Fed Chair Powell’s speech on Tuesday-which, let’s be honest, will probably contain zero actual answers. Midweek, we’ve got the NY Fed Manufacturing Index on Wednesday and the Philly Fed Manufacturing Index and NAHB Housing Market Index on Thursday. Oh, and just to spice things up, about 10% of S&P 500 companies will report earnings. Investors? Cautious. Markets? Volatile. Your portfolio? Probably crying. 😭

BREAKING: MARA Holdings just bought 400 more BTC for a cool $46 million because apparently, they’re allergic to fiat currency. This brings their total holdings to a jaw-dropping 52,850 BTC, valued at roughly $6.12 billion. That’s enough Bitcoin to buy a small country… or at least a really nice yacht. The transaction was done through FalconX, because if you’re going to spend $46 million, you might as well do it in style. 🚤

Jeff, the founder of Hyperliquid, is calling out centralized exchanges for their “creative” reporting of liquidation data. Allegedly, even when thousands of liquidations happen in a single second, exchanges might show just one. That’s like saying you only had one piece of cake when you actually ate the whole thing. Jeff argues this lack of transparency distorts the market and makes it harder for traders to assess risk accurately. So, to summarize: exchanges are hiding data, traders are stressed, and Jeff is mad. Sounds like a typical Tuesday in crypto land. 😤

Binance is adding Recall (RECALL) to its Binance Alpha platform, because who doesn’t need another token in their life? The listing happens on October 15, followed by a RECALLUSDT perpetual contract launch with up to 50x leverage. Because, hey, why take on manageable risk when you can gamble with 50x leverage? Recall is described as a “decentralized AI skill marketplace,” which sounds fancy until you realize it’s just Uber for AI developers. Binance seems to think it’s the next big thing-let’s hope it’s not just the next big flop. 🤞

Ethereum is back, baby! After a brief market correction (which we’ll call a “wellness break”), ETH has reclaimed its key weekly support level and is now eyeing new all-time highs. As long as it stays above this support, the bulls are in control. If momentum keeps up, Ethereum could soon test the $5,200-$5,300 range. So, if you missed the last rally, don’t worry-there might be another one on the horizon. Just remember, this isn’t financial advice, it’s just Ethereum being Ethereum. 🚀