Hayes Roasts Crypto Gamblers: Lambo? Please, It’s a Marathon! 🐢💸

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Arthur Hayes, with the gravitas of a man who’s seen your Twitter feed, dropped this truth bomb on Kyle Chasse:

“If you thought Bitcoin was a magic carpet to a Lamborghini, you’re probably broke and crying in the comments section. Welcome to the ‘long game’-where ‘long’ means longer than your attention span!” 😂

Hayes’ message? Bitcoin isn’t a dopamine hit; it’s the financial equivalent of a 10-hour Netflix binge. Those who bought years ago are sipping champagne while the “6-month pros” are still waiting for their crypto fairy godmother. 🕰️✨

Context: Bitcoin vs. Everything Else

Bitcoin’s currently chilling at $115,400, which is basically “meh” compared to its 2025 peak of $124,100. Meanwhile, gold hit a record $3,674, and the S&P 500 flexed at 6,587. Traditional markets are throwing a party, and Bitcoiners are nervously checking the door. Why isn’t BTC at $150K yet? 🤷♂️

Hayes: “Wrong question! Bitcoin isn’t here to play catch-up with gold or the S&P-it’s here to ruin your life with *slow, agonizing* wealth.” 💀

“The S&P 500, in gold terms, is still stuck in 2008 purgatory. Bitcoin? It’s so far ahead, the chart looks like a straight line to Mars. You can’t even see the competition-it’s that tiny speck over there.” 🚀

Why This Matters: The Patience Premium

Crypto’s filled with folks who think “investing” means “spray-paint money on a wall and hope.” Hayes is here to say: Bitcoin isn’t a scratch-off lottery-it’s a 20-year commitment, like marriage but with more volatility. 💍📉

“Bitcoin’s averaged 82.4% annual returns? That’s not a stock-it’s a cheat code for people who can resist buying a NFT of a dog with a hat.” 🐶🎩

But hey, who needs patience when you can just post a Lambo meme and feel rich? Hayes’ advice: “If you treat Bitcoin like a casino, you’ll end up poorer than a joke. But if you treat it like a ‘slow-cooker of wealth,’ eventually… maybe a Lambo. Just not tomorrow. Probably next Tuesday.” 🕒

 

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2025-09-14 22:15