Hackers Play ‘Big Game Hunting’ in Crypto Chaos 🐯

by

Let’s talk about crypto hackers, shall we? The real-life version of Antiques Roadshow but with firewalls and a side of existential dread. In 2025, they focused on large crypto entities and personal wallets, raking in $3.4 billion-because apparently, stealing $3.4 billion from people who still think “crypto” is a type of smoothie is the ultimate flex. 😂

Just three hacks, led by the $1.4 billion Bybit fiasco, accounted for 69% of losses. That’s like saying 99% of your problems come from one guy who just won’t stop texting you about pyramid schemes. Chainalysis, bless their data-driven hearts, noted these hacks were a thousand times bigger than the average “oops, I left my wallet unsecured on a public computer” incident. 🚨

Andrew Fierman from Chainalysis told CryptoMoon, “Massive attacks drove this year’s losses, but who knows what 2026 will bring?” Spoiler: probably more chaos, but also maybe a new reality show called Hack vs. Hope. 🎬

“It’s hard to predict if it’ll get worse,” he said, which is the crypto equivalent of telling your kids not to touch the stove while holding a lit match. But hey, big game hunting-stealing from the biggest wallets-is clearly the new black. And no, we don’t know why “black” is involved. 🖤

Wallets: The New Playground for Hackers

While the Bybit hack was the main event, personal wallets are now the backup dancers in this cyber heist ballet. They accounted for 20% of stolen value this year, but if you ignore the $1.4B outlier, it’s a cozy 37%. Just don’t ask me how that math works-it’s like saying a small coffee is $2 and a large is $1 because “volume discounts!” ☕

Despite triple the number of incidents compared to 2022, the total stolen from individuals dropped to $713 million. Why? Because personal wallets are like piggy banks, and exchanges are like vaults. Hackers aren’t stupid-they’re just very, very greedy. 💰

“Individual wallets hold less cash,” Fierman explained, as if we didn’t already know that. Thanks, Captain Obvious. 🙃

DeFi: The Unlikely Hero?

DeFi’s total locked value hit $119 billion, up from $40 billion in 2023. You’d think that’d make it a hacker’s dream buffet, but surprise! Hacks stayed low. Why? Either DeFi protocols finally learned to lock the front door, or hackers switched to robbing wallets instead of restaurants. 🍽️

Chainalysis says this is a “meaningful change,” which is a fancy way of saying, “We’re confused but pretending we’re not.” Still, credit where it’s due: better security and hackers pivoting to centralized services might be working. 🛡️

North Korea: The Sophisticated Thieves Next Door

North Korean hackers stole $2.02 billion in 2025, up $681 million from the year prior. Their new strategy? Embedding IT workers in projects. Because nothing says “trust” like hiring someone who might be a spy. 🕵️♂️

They’re executing fewer but bigger attacks, which Chainalysis attributes to “sophistication and patience.” Translation: They’re not just random kids in a basement anymore-they’re professionals with a Netflix queue and a side hustle. 🎥

“The DPRK is evolving,” Fierman said, which is terrifying because evolution usually involves things like flight or fire-breathing. 🐉

“While the industry learns from every hack, the DPRK is also evolving, in an ongoing attempt to find new attack vectors to continue yielding returns for the regime through their ill-gotten gains.”

Read More

2025-12-18 16:30