Goldman Sachs Changes Its Mind! Tariffs Pause, Markets Soar, And Trump Saves The Day!
In a delightful twist of fate, Goldman Sachs, those revered gurus of the financial world, have decided to scrap their gloomy prediction of an impending recession. The reason? President Donald Trump, in one of his most unexpected acts of diplomacy, announced a 90-day pause on most of the new tariffs his administration had so enthusiastically rolled out. Of course, this sudden act of “I changed my mind” has sent the markets into a euphoric frenzy, soothing the trade war jitters that had been rattling Wall Street for days.
Just hours earlier, Goldman Sachs had grimly shifted their forecast to a “recession baseline,” following the launch of new, country-specific tariffs. But as quickly as you can say “fiscal about-face,” Trump’s tariff pause has propelled Goldman to announce that they now foresee a “non-recession baseline” – which apparently translates to a modest 0.5% GDP growth by the fourth quarter of 2025. How refreshing! And, just to add a little sparkle to their revised outlook, they predict three rate cuts from the Federal Reserve starting in June. CNBC reports that Goldman has, once again, jumped on the optimism train, leaving all the worrywarts in the dust. 🤑
And, as markets love to do when there’s even a glimmer of good news, they responded with exuberance. Bitcoin leapt past $82,000, and the Nasdaq approached a ten percent gain, a miraculous recovery from what could only be described as the worst multi-day performance since the 2008 financial crisis. Meanwhile, the 10-year Treasury yield gave a little sigh of relief, easing from 4.5% to 4.4%. All is well in the world, apparently! 🎉
Goldman Sachs’ research department publishing these two headlines 73 minutes apart lmao
— litquidity (@litcapital) April 9, 2025
In a post on Truth Social – because where else would one go for world-shaping announcements? – Trump proclaimed that multiple countries had “initiated talks” about trade and currency. This prompted the tariff pause and a temporary reduction in the reciprocal tariff rate to a mere 10%. But, of course, because no good deed goes unpunished, tariffs on Chinese imports have been cranked up to an eye-popping 125%, effective immediately. Ah, the joys of international relations. 😜
Goldman, in a rare moment of unpredictability (and possibly from a caffeine-induced frenzy), now estimates a 45% chance of a recession, down from their previous, more catastrophic projections. Meanwhile, they predict core inflation will peak at 3.5%. What a difference a day makes!
And let’s not forget the cherry on top: after four days of intense market volatility, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, with his moderate views and cool-headed approach, will take the reins of upcoming trade negotiations. Wall Street, predictably, sees this as a victory, eagerly anticipating the calmer, more calculated hands that will guide us through the storm. Let’s just hope those hands know where the “off” switch is for this rollercoaster. 🚀
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2025-04-09 23:36