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Fragbite Group Unveils Plans for Bitcoin Treasure – Stock Skyrockets 64% Overnight!

BBG News

Behold, worthy reader! The Swedish playwrights of finance, Fragbite Group, have sworn – with the solemnity of a father promising his son a pony – to stuff their corporate mattress with Bitcoin, that most fashionable of digital ducats, and thus preserve their fortune against the cruel tides of inflation. In a commendably dramatic twist, they’ve summoned a brand-new Director whose sole charge is not to direct but to count invisible coins.

In this profoundly official communiqué, their high council—err, Board of Directors—has given a theatrical nod to a new enterprise: keep profits in hand, but not as dull, old-fashioned kronor. Nay! They will collect shiny Bitcoin tokens and lock them away, as if preparing for a siege of financial doom.

“Bitcoin is the stuff of legend!” the company proclaims, as if declaiming upon a stage. “A shield against inflation, a wondrous orb that transforms the storing of value!” One can almost see the powdered wigs bobbing in agreement.

What plot twist then? Why, Fragbite will raise capital with the subtle finesse of a baron seeking coin at court balls, issuing 0% convertible bonds—worth five million krona (roughly the price of a Stockholm sandwich… just kidding, it’s about $530,000). Investors beware: these are bonds with all the excitement of romance novels, but none of the messy interest payments!

The deal sweetener? Should you wish to convert shares, you may, at the princely sum of 10 krona each ($1.05), which somehow manages a 110% premium over the daily average price. (A clever trick, truly worth a standing ovation!) The curtain call for this subscription? Coming soon, and we advise you to bring your own popcorn.

After the company uttered its chilling vow to amass Bitcoin, its stock soared higher than Molière’s hypocrisy in “Tartuffe” – an eye-popping 64% leap in a single day. FRAG.ST attained the illustrious summit of 9.94 SEK per share on June 30 – no small feat for a cast of digital thespians.

But lo! Take heart, gentle employees: the board assures you that daily operations shan’t be hindered, since, in their own words, it was “already decentralized” – a management style hitherto known only to cats and certain libertarians.

Enter the Treasury Director – or, Who Wants to Hold the Keys to the Crypto Chest?

To preside o’er this blockchain bosom, Fragbite has created a role so new, the ink is still wet: Treasury Director, to be paid based on how well he keeps the treasure from the pirates (otherwise known as market volatility). This merry scheme allegedly aligns with the shareholders’ insatiable hunger for profit, though cynics might ask: is the treasure map written in invisible ink?

The lucky soul tasked with counting Satoshis is none other than Patrik von Bahr, a Lead Game Designer and proclaimed preacher of the gospel of Bitcoin. He foresees a day when, instead of discussing earnings per share, one must debate “Bitcoins per shareholder.” Oh, brave new world, that hath such metrics in it!

“We ride at dawn into this paradigm shift,” von Bahr announced (with all the subtlety of Don Quixote tilting at windmills), “to unlock absurd amounts of shareholder value, both today and tomorrow.” Courageous, indeed! Or, perhaps, simply swept up in the masques of digital fortune.

Founded in 2015 (which in crypto years is roughly the Renaissance), Fragbite Group is a noble house of subsidiaries forging, adapting, and unveiling games for PC, mobile, console, and the ever-mysterious blockchain stage. Their star shines from Stockholm, and their exploits are paraded on the Nasdaq First North Growth Market, where drama is always in season. 🎭💰🚀

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2025-06-30 12:57

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