Florida Legislature’s Crypto Dreams Crushed: Lawmakers Cancel Bitcoin Stash Plans 😱💸

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It is as if two comets, bearing the cryptic numbers HB 487 and SB 550, flickered briefly in the Floridian sky, only to burn out with not a whisper from the chamber. The 2025 legislative session—picture an orchestra playing Wagner, but with more lobbying and less skill—concluded its performance upon the second day of May, the curtains falling before any hand could be raised, before even a sneeze of a vote. 😴

Thus, beneath the humid sun, amidst the fluttering palms and the ceaseless sound of ocean waves plotting their invasion of Miami’s real estate, those passionate proposals for a Bitcoin reserve were quietly sealed away—tucked into legislative shadows, alongside all of Florida’s unresolved stories and unsold oranges. 🍊💼

The grand vision, to amass a digital treasure chest upon the state’s books, has retreated, relegated to myth and cocktail party speculation (“Remember when we almost bought magic internet coins with taxpayers’ money?”). For now, the gators may rest easy; no Bitcoin will disturb their swamp. If history manages to muster new courage and less sarcasm next year, perhaps these bills shall rise again—stranger things have happened, and in Florida, they do weekly. 🐊🪙

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2025-05-06 08:42