Fed vs Saylor: The Bitcoin Battle That’ll Make You Laugh and Think Twice

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In the quiet murmur of financial affairs, where gentlemen in tailored coats sip their stale tea, a certain Pierre Rochard-an ardent disciple of Bitcoin and captain of The Bitcoin Bond Company-has thrown down a gauntlet with the audacity of a cheeky schoolboy. According to his bold proclamation, the strategies of Michael Saylor, that fervent champion of the digital coin, outshine the ponderous policies of none other than the Federal Reserve’s very own maestro, Jerome Powell. One can imagine the grand hall echoing with the shock and titters of such an insinuation.

With a flourish on the battlefield known as X, our Pierre wittily laid side by side the Fed’s meager efforts-yielding a paltry 4.5%-against the thrilling spectacle of Strategy’s ventures, offering a dividend so generous that even the most stoic banker might blush.

“The Federal Reserve: 0% fractional reserve banking yielding 4.5%. STRC: 580% full reserve banking yielding 10.0%. Michael Saylor is outperforming Jerome Powell. The Fed needs to urgently buy Bitcoin,” he declared, as if reciting a daring manifesto at a dinner party.

The Duel of Reserves: Bitcoin’s Full Armor vs. The Fed’s Hollow Shield

Strategy, that mercurial offspring of Saylor’s vision, has recently announced an audacious increase in its preferred stock dividend-from a respectable 9% to a triumphant 10%. Guarded by over six hundred thousand mighty Bitcoins, it has swelled its coffers by an almost comical 580%, turning many a speculator green with envy.

Strategy declared cash dividends on our four preferreds payable Sep 30, 2025, and increased the dividend rate on STRC from 9.0% to 10.0%. $STRF $STRC $STRK $STRD

– Michael Saylor (@saylor) September 2, 2025

In this saga, Rochard bestows upon Strategy the noble title of “full reserve banking,” as if it were some ancient fortress impervious to the storms that buffet the Fed’s fractional reserve system-a rather clever enchantment that lets banks lend out most of what they hold, whilst feebly offering a 4.5% reward to their loyal depositors.

Jerome Powell’s Unwavering No to Bitcoin’s Courtship

Alas, despite the whispers and clamors emanating from the crypto salons, Jerome Powell, in his suit of somber authority, steadfastly refuses to entertain the notion of the Fed embracing Bitcoin. To those hopeful angels, he proffers the twin guards of “legal restriction” and “no plans to amend the law.” How delightfully bureaucratic!

This pronouncement arrives just as the Fed contemplates whether to ease interest rates in the coming days of September-a chess match between market hopes and the relentless specter of inflation, steadfastly above its 2% altar.

Bitcoin’s Tumultuous Dance on a Stormy Stage

Our dear Bitcoin has recently performed a rather dramatic pirouette. August witnessed the tempestuous departure of a whale-yes, a veritable leviathan-offloading 24,000 BTC, a fortune of $2.7 billion, sending prices into a dizzying waltz. Yet, like a resilient party guest, Bitcoin now twinkles at $111,533, with a modest 1.56% uptick in the last 24 hours. Bravo, indeed! 🎩🐋

The Fed’s persistent hesitation is but another discordant note in this symphony of uncertainty.

Meanwhile, the Trump administration, ever the theatrical ensemble, pushes for crypto to shed its chains, even pondering a strategic U.S. Bitcoin reserve. Who knew Washington could be so… trendy?

With Bitcoin clawing back amidst politics that shift quicker than a flirt in a ballroom, one wonders aloud: will Powell, the somber maestro, finally purchase a piece of this digital spectacle? 🤔

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2025-09-03 16:04