Ethereum’s price chart looks like it’s been hit by a rocket… or maybe just a really optimistic analyst with a ruler. BitMine and other “patient” long-term holders are hoarding ETH like it’s the last loaf of bread in 2020. ETFs flipped from outflows to inflows faster than you can say “HODL,” and bulls are whispering $4,000 like it’s a magic number. Spoiler: it’s not magic-it’s just hope, greed, and a dash of “I’ll sell at the top.”
- ETH clings to an ascending trendline since May like it’s clinging to its dignity after a bad Zoom call. MACD and RSI are playing “bullish divergence” tag, and $4,000 is now on the table… if you believe the table won’t collapse. 🎲
- BitMine and their “sophisticated” whale buddies are building ETH treasuries so big, they’re probably using it as a ladder to climb out of the bear market. Liquid supply? What liquid supply? It’s all gone! 💸
- Spot ETH ETFs flipped from outflows to inflows faster than your ex’s Instagram bio. Institutions are back, apparently they’ve upgraded from “confused” to “let’s throw money at this.” 🤑
Ethereum’s price could rise… if the market doesn’t first decide to play “King of the Hill” with a sledgehammer. Long-term holders are accumulating so hard, they’re probably dreaming in ETH. Technical analysis says “up,” but let’s be real-it’s just a guess with charts. 📊
Ethereum price
The digital asset is dancing above an ascending trendline since May, connecting lows like they’re dots in a connect-the-dots for crypto millionaires. Analysts call it a “bullish pattern.” We call it a prayer. 🙏
Technical indicators? MACD is tiptoeing toward zero like it’s afraid of breaking the ice… or maybe just calculating when the next crypto winter will arrive. RSI is rising like it’s trying to escape gravity. $4,000 is the goal, but let’s not forget: even bulls get tired of carrying cows. 🐄
If ETH stumbles below that trendline, it might as well start packing its bags for a trip to the moon… or at least to the 2018 bear market. Either way, it’s a rollercoaster. 🎢
BitMine’s ETH stash is now “largest in the industry,” according to someone who definitely hasn’t checked Coinbase. Long-term holders control so much ETH, it’s like they’re holding the whole market hostage. Since December? More accumulation than a Black Friday sale. 🛒
Tokenizing real-world assets? Sure! Expanding payment systems? Why not! Ethereum’s latest tricks are either genius or just desperate bids for relevance. Either way, it’s a Hail Mary. ⚾
ETF flows flipped to inflows, and institutions are back like they never left. Or maybe they’re just here for the free schwag. This reversal is the crypto equivalent of a comeback kid with a new suit. 🧥
The near-term price trajectory? Depends on support levels holding up like a house of cards in a hurricane. Technical indicators and accumulation patterns say “up,” but let’s remember: crypto is just a game of Russian roulette with a side of optimism. 🎰
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2026-01-01 12:12