ETH to the Moon? 🚀 BitMine Bets Big!

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Oh, do pay attention, darlings. Apparently, BitMine Immersion Technologies – the sort of name that suggests one dives into digital assets with a great deal of reckless abandon – has rather dramatically parted with another $65 million for Ether. Sixty-five million! One does hope it wasn’t the housekeeping budget. A first installment for the month, you understand. Perfectly frightful.

They apparently orchestrated this little spree through Galaxy Digital’s delightfully discreet over-the-counter desk, as revealed by those ever-so-helpful chaps at Arkham Intelligence. Honestly, these blockchain analytics people do keep one remarkably informed – although one suspects it’s mostly so they can justify their existence.

It seems Ether is becoming frightfully scarce, with reserves on exchanges dwindling like a debutante’s patience at a tedious ball. Thirty-eight percent since 2022! All thanks to corporations and these…what are they called? Exchange-Traded Funds? Dreadfully vulgar, really, soaking up everything.

A BitMine spokesperson, with a commendable lack of boasts (or was it?), informed CryptoMoon that they didn’t use any leverage. Cash, apparently. How terribly…conventional. They now own rather more than 1.5% of all Ethereum. One sincerely hopes they know what they’re doing. 🧐

BitMine’s Shares Have a Moment

The shares, naturally, had a little flutter. Up 5.58% to $44.86 on Wednesday. Though, alas, a subsequent dip in after-hours trading took it to $44.62. Never mind, the year-to-date increase is a staggering 540%! Unless, of course, one remembers that it’s crashed a rather substantial 67% from its July peak of $135. One must choose one’s narrative, mustn’t one? 🥂

And the trading volume! Apparently, it’s become quite the hot ticket. Some 51.07 million shares traded daily. Imagine the commission! 💸

Rumours are swirling, quite deliciously, that Tom Lee is slumming it on The Joe Rogan Experience. Twenty million subscribers! Good heavens. One anticipates a ripple effect – bringing more attention to both BitMine and Ethereum. The sheer drama!

Mr. Lee and His Predictions

Mr. Lee, bless his optimistic soul, is convinced Ethereum will reach $60,000. Sixty thousand! He compared it to 1971. Apparently, Wall Street’s interest is a ‘moment’ of some significance. One does wonder if he’s been at the champagne.

He suggests companies holding Ether in their treasuries will enjoy a premium, primarily because they can stake it. ETFs, apparently, are hampered by liquidity. Honestly, the bureaucracy! He predicts a 90% value increase thanks to the 3% staking reward. It’s all frightfully complicated, isn’t it?

Currently, BitMine’s mNav trades at a mere 1.13. The poor dears! It seems they haven’t quite captured the full staking potential. A perfectly appalling oversight.

And, just to rub it in, Mr. Lee adds that those pesky ETFs will never fully benefit from staking due to, you guessed it, liquidity requirements. The injustice! 🎭

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2025-09-04 10:09