ETH to $12K? Analysts Say It’s a Textbook Slam Dunk! 🚀📈

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What ho, old sport! While the venerable Bitcoin was busy scaling the heights of financial Everest, driven by the sort of panic that makes one clutch at safe havens like a chap clutching at his last cigar in a storm, Ether, the plucky underdog, was quietly tiptoeing back to within a whisker of its former glory. A mere 7%, mind you-a trifle, really, like the difference between a decent claret and a truly splendid one.

Now, Ether did have a spot of bother at the $4,600 mark, rather like a chap who’s had one too many at the club and can’t quite make it up the stairs. It slipped back to $4,500, but fear not! The analysts, those modern-day oracles with their charts and whatnot, assure us it’s merely coiled like a spring, ready to bound forth with the vigor of a young Labrador chasing a stick. 🦴

“Ethereum is going through this pattern like it’s straight out of a textbook,” declared the crypto analyst known as ‘Moustache’ on Sunday, no doubt while twirling said facial adornment with a flourish. He spoke of a descending broadening wedge, a bullish pattern so classic it makes one think of Jeeves polishing the silver. The target? A cool $12,000, by Jove! 🤑

#Altcoins

One of the most spiffing charts for $ETH, if not the spiffingest.

Ethereum’s behaving like it’s read the textbook cover to cover.

Target: a whopping $12,000.

Imagine the altcoins soaring like a flock of startled pigeons! 🐦‍⬛

You’re all as bullish as a matador with a red flag.

– 𝕄𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕔ⓗ𝕖 (@el_crypto_prof) October 5, 2025

If Ether doubles in the next three months, altcoins will skyrocket like a rocket, or so says our moustachioed friend. Meanwhile, ‘Mister Crypto’ chimed in with a “textbook bull flag setup,” targeting $6,800. Not to be outdone, Web3 influencer ‘ZYN’ proclaimed, “ETH is probably one of the best trades out there,” adding with a wink, “Institutional adoption, staking approval coming, companies buying billions, and yet it’s at 2021 ATH. Spiffing!” 🧐

“Ether prices doubling by the end of the quarter? Doesn’t seem unlikely, old bean.”

‘Ash Crypto’ went one better, declaring, “Forget Bitcoin and M2 money supply correlation. If ETH catches up with the global M2 supply, it’ll trade above $15,000 this cycle.” And ‘Galaxy BTC’? He’s convinced the Ethereum bull run will continue into 2026, like a particularly stubborn houseguest who just won’t leave. 🏠

Long-term charts show a ‘V-bottom’ structure and a big triangle from 2021, retested with aplomb. Volatility? Oh, there’ll be plenty, but by the looks of it, we’re headed for five-digit ETH territory. Five digits! That’s more than the number of times Aunt Agatha has asked when I’m finally going to settle down. 👵

Of course, no financial frolic would be complete without the Bitcoin maximalists throwing their proverbial rocks. Samson Mow couldn’t resist a dig, claiming, “The only thing keeping ETH at these levels is the Korean retail investor.” No evidence, mind you, just a spot of tribalism. Andrew Kang called Tom Lee’s ETH thesis “retarded,” to which Lee responded with the sort of wit that turns insult into brand: “In #crypto, retarded is good… I’m ETHtarded.” A line so unhinged it looped back to genius. 🧠

Someone called Tom Lee’s $ETH thesis “retarded.”

He flipped it into a brand:

“In #crypto, retarded is good… I’m ETHtarded.”

A line so unhinged it looped back to genius.

– CryptoPotato Official (@Crypto_Potato) October 6, 2025

So there you have it, old sport. ETH to $12K? Analysts say it’s a textbook slam dunk. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to pour myself a stiff drink and ponder the madness of it all. 🥃

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2025-10-06 11:26