Eric Trump Warns Banks: Adapt to Blockchain or Face Extinction—No, Seriously!

Eric Trump, in his Dubai pilgrimage of wisdom, proclaimed that banks have, at most, a mere decade left to get with the times. Adapt to blockchain, or be consigned to the annals of history like those ancient, “slow” and “expensive” typesetting machines that were once all the rage. Yes, the good ol’ traditional financial system, to his ever-vocal delight, is hurtling towards extinction.

In an interview with CNBC—because where else would such revelations be dropped?—Eric Trump, the executive vice president of the Trump Organization (a title as impressive as it sounds), took aim at the old, clunky financial system, which he described as “broken,” “slow,” and “expensive.” You know, the usual litany of insults reserved for an overstuffed bureaucracy. His solution? Blockchain, of course. According to Eric, blockchain does everything “better” than those pesky current systems. Imagine that—efficiency, transparency, and speed without those pesky fees!

But wait, there’s more! Trump, not one to leave an institution unscathed, then turned his fiery rhetoric towards SWIFT, the global financial messaging network that handles 90% of cross-border transactions. He called it an “absolute disaster,” giving it the kind of scathing review you’d expect from a restaurant critic who had their soup served cold. SWIFT, apparently, is antiquated, sluggish, and far too focused on catering to the needs of the ultra-wealthy. Ah, the plot thickens.

“Our banking system favors the ultra-wealthy. And what actually got me into [cryptocurrency] is the fact I realized our banking system was weaponized against the vast majority of people in our country, either the people that don’t have the zeros on their balance sheet, or people who might have worn that red hat that said ‘Make America Great Again.’”

— Eric Trump

Of course, while the UAE strains to morph into the world’s crypto haven, Eric’s rhetoric feels more like a herald for the age of decentralized finance. His bullishness on Bitcoin (BTC) is evident—he’s predicting a staggering $1 million per coin, a number so bold that it could make a finance bro’s head spin. According to Eric, it’s not just a coin, it’s the “alternative to banks” that the masses have been waiting for. An unvarnished love letter to blockchain, if you will.

Oh, and then there’s Ethereum (ETH), because why stick with just one crypto darling when you can dabble in them all? Back in February, when Ethereum was happily lounging around $2,900, Eric Trump posted on X (formerly known as Twitter—let’s not get bogged down in the rebranding madness) to declare it was “a great time to add Ethereum.” Oh, how charmingly confident! But alas, reality has a cruel sense of humor. A mere five weeks later, ETH plummeted over 30% to a more humble $1,900. Eric, perhaps realizing he’d been a bit too generous in his “thank me later” advice, quietly deleted that part of the post. Oops.

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2025-04-30 12:09