Elon’s Starlink vs. Trump’s Tariffs: A Desperate Game of Cosmic Chess 🚀🤡

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In the labyrinthine corridors of power, where the air is thick with the scent of ambition and the echoes of hollow promises, a peculiar drama unfolded. Raghav Chadha, a lawmaker from the Aam Aadmi Party (AAP), emerged as a modern-day Raskolnikov, grappling with the moral weight of his own audacious proposal. The stage was set: the United States, under the aegis of President Donald Trump, had unleashed a torrent of tariffs upon India, and Chadha, in a fit of desperation, suggested that India withhold Elon Musk’s Starlink services as a countermeasure. Ah, the irony! To hold the stars hostage in a bid to reclaim earthly fortunes.

During the question hour in the Rajya Sabha, Chadha, with the fervor of a man who has seen too much and understood too little, lamented the 26% tariffs imposed by the Trump administration. “India,” he declared, “has offered its unflinching loyalty and undying friendship to the US. We have done everything possible to promote and protect the interests of the US and US companies in India… But despite this, the Trump administration has levied 26% tariffs on Indian goods, which is likely to hit us by 50-100 basis points in terms of GDP loss. We will lose our competitive advantage in the global market particularly if the doors of the US markets are closed for us.”

Yes, I am obsessed 🇮🇳

— Raghav Chadha (@raghav_chadha) April 4, 2025

Chadha, ever the strategist, proposed an arm-twisting technique that would make Machiavelli blush. “I would like to ask the (concerned) minister that, should we not withhold the requisite approvals for Elon Musk’s Starlink, who is a very visible part of the US administration, and use that as a bargaining chip to renegotiate these Trump tariffs?” he asked, his voice trembling with the weight of his own audacity. Ah, the sweet scent of desperation!

On April 2, the US government, in a display of bravado that would make even the most jaded observer cringe, observed “Liberation Day,” where it announced reciprocal tariffs on various trading partners, including India, which was hit with a 27% tariff. Meanwhile, in March, Airtel and Jio had announced a collaboration with Elon Musk’s Starlink to bring satellite-based connectivity for high-speed internet in India. But, as fate would have it, Starlink has yet to obtain a license from the Indian government. The plot thickens!

Another Question to the Hon’ble Minister today in Parliament :

Given the fact that Starlink refused to share critical data with Indian authorities citing data privacy laws, how does the Govt of India plan to deal with such resistance from Elon Musk’s Starlink on data sharing…

— Raghav Chadha (@raghav_chadha) April 3, 2025

Last year, Starlink found itself under the Indian government’s scrutiny when it refused to reveal data on who was using its Satcom devices during a significant drug bust raid by the Indian Coast Guard in the Andaman and Nicobar Islands. And let us not forget, Starlink has also supported Ukraine in both military and civilian matters. The web of intrigue grows ever more tangled.

In the end, one cannot help but marvel at the absurdity of it all. A lawmaker, desperate to reclaim India’s lost glory, suggests holding the stars hostage. A tech mogul, caught in the crossfire of geopolitics, refuses to share his secrets. And a president, ever the showman, unleashes tariffs with the flourish of a man who has never known restraint. Truly, the world is a stage, and we are but players in this grand, cosmic farce. 🌍🎭

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2025-04-04 11:49