DOJ Dumps Crypto Cops: What’s Next for Bitcoin Bandits?
In a move that has left the crypto world both baffled and slightly amused, the U.S. Department of Justice has decided to disband the National Cryptocurrency Enforcement Unit. Why? Apparently, their strategy was as reckless as a toddler with a credit card in a candy store. 🍭
According to a report by Fortune, a four-page memo from U.S. Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche declared the unit’s disbandment “effective immediately.” This decision is part of the Trump administration’s ongoing effort to loosen oversight on the crypto industry—because who needs rules when you have blockchain, right? 🤷♂️
“The Department of Justice is not a digital assets regulator,” Blanche stated in the memo, adding, “However, the prior Administration used the Justice Department to pursue a reckless strategy of regulation by prosecution.” Translation: “We’re not the crypto police, but we sure acted like it for a while.”
Blanche also urged DOJ staff to stop chasing crypto exchanges, mixers, and “offline wallets” like they’re the last slice of pizza at a party. Instead, they’re now supposed to focus on prosecuting “individuals who victimize digital asset investors.” So, basically, they’re swapping crypto cops for crypto Robin Hoods. 🏹
The National Cryptocurrency Enforcement Unit was born under Joe Biden’s presidency as a joint task force of prosecutors from the Justice Department’s money laundering, cybercrime units, and other district offices. It was like the Avengers, but for crypto crimes. 💥
This task force oversaw some of the biggest crypto cases in the country, including the prosecution of Tornado Cash, a cryptocurrency mixing service accused of money laundering. Tornado Cash co-founder Roman Storm faces up to 45 years in prison for operating an unlicensed money-transmitting business, conspiracy to commit money laundering, and sanction evasion. Many in the crypto industry rallied behind Tornado Cash, arguing that the case criminalized software developers. Because, you know, coding is the new crime. 💻
In a twist that no one saw coming, the U.S. Treasury lifted sanctions against Tornado Cash on March 21, allowing Americans to access it once more. It’s like banning someone from a party and then unbanning them because you realized they brought the good snacks. 🍿
The NCET also prosecuted Avraham Eisenberg, a hacker who exploited the Mango Markets crypto trading protocol for over $114 million. Last January, Mango Markets announced it was shutting down operations, giving users a deadline to close their positions before the site went dark. It’s like a fire sale, but for crypto. 🔥
Additionally, the unit investigated North Korean actors who helped launder funds stolen from crypto hacks. Because nothing says “international intrigue” like North Korea and Bitcoin. 🇰🇵
So, what’s next for the crypto world without its enforcement unit? Only time will tell. But one thing’s for sure: the drama in the crypto universe is far from over. 🎭
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2025-04-08 15:36