Dogecoin Dad Billy Markus: Wake Me Up When Crypto Stops Being a Meme 🎢💤

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Oh, look! Dogecoin is having its moment again, riding the coattails of Bitcoin’s latest “I’m still relevant” rally. 🤑 Meanwhile, Billy Markus, the accidental crypto godfather (aka Dogecoin’s co-creator), is over here like, “Yeah, cool story, bro, but call me when we’re actually breaking records.” 😒✨

Taking to the X-treme social platform (formerly known as Twitter, but let’s not split hairs), Markus basically said, “Crypto’s doing good and all, but I’m not clapping until we’re at all-time highs. Until then, I’m napping.” 🛌💭 His hot take dropped right as Bitcoin was flexing its $96,000 biceps, and the crypto community collectively gasped. Some were like, “All-time highs? More like all-time lies,” while others were all, “Just you wait, Billy, the moon is coming!” 🌕🚀

Crypto’s $300 Billion Glow-Up: But Is It Just Contouring? 💄💸

So, the crypto market cap is sitting pretty at $3.344 trillion, which is a cool 9.7% jump since January 1. That’s $300 billion in inflows, people! 💰 But let’s be real, after the 2025 crypto rollercoaster (aka “the choppy indecisive phase”), this is basically the market’s version of a post-breakup glow-up. 💅 Still, Bitcoin, Ethereum, and their fancy friends are feeling themselves, and bullish vibes are creeping in like a Tinder match who finally texts back. 😏

But Billy Markus? He’s not impressed. “Break some benchmarks first,” he quipped, probably while sipping tea and judging us all. 🍵👀 His followers ate it up, with some agreeing that all-time highs feel like a unicorn sighting, and others betting their last slice of pizza that new highs are coming. 🦄🍕

And let’s not forget, Dogecoin started as a joke. Like, literally. But now Markus is out here being selective, only respecting Bitcoin, Ethereum, Dogecoin, and Solana. The rest? Meh. 🤷‍♂️

Crypto’s Current Mood: “Am I Doing This Right?” 😕📈

Markus’s take highlights the crypto community’s split personality. On one hand, prices are up, and everyone’s like, “Yay, recovery!” 🎉 On the other, major benchmarks are still playing hard to get. Bitcoin’s chilling in the $90ks, but that $100k mark? Still a tease. 💔 And Dogecoin? It’s back above $0.14, but traders are holding their breath until $0.157 falls. Don’t pop the champagne yet, folks. 🍾🚫

So, where does that leave us? Well, crypto’s like that friend who says they’re “working on themselves” but still shows up late to brunch. 🥂 Progress? Sure. Perfect? Not even close. But hey, at least it’s entertaining. 🎭

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2026-01-15 15:43