Dimon’s Tariff Tango: Is America Setting Itself Up? 😂

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What to know:

  • You won’t believe this—Jamie Dimon is basically saying Trump’s tariff antics will crank up inflation like it’s a bad sitcom rerun. 🤷‍♂️
  • These tariffs? They’re not only hiking up imports, but domestic prices are joining the party. Great, just what we needed.

So here’s the deal: JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon is out there warning investors that Trump’s tariff circus might just be the spark to start an economic bonfire. And no, it’s not some overblown Hollywood plot.

“The recent tariffs are about as welcome as your least favorite relative at Thanksgiving—they’re gonna boost inflation and might even bring on a recession,” Dimon laments in his annual little rant to shareholders. “Whether this tariff menu leads to a full-blown recession is still up in the air, but it’s definitely going to slow down growth.”

“Now, whether you can justify these tariffs or not—there might be some valid reasons, sure—there are some messy, short-term consequences coming our way,” he practically grumbles, pointing out that these price hikes will hit both imported and homegrown goods. Classic, right? 🙄

And if you thought that was all, guess what? Global markets—and yes, even the wild world of crypto—have been doing their best impression of a roller coaster since Trump’s latest tariff stunt. Bitcoin even dipped below $79,000, and it’s now lounging flat at about $78,235. The CoinDesk 20? Down more than 10% today and nearly 20% over the past month. I mean, seriously, come on! 😏

Dimon isn’t all grump; he’s for Trump’s “America First” vibe, but he warns it could quickly flip into “America alone.” Because, honestly, if the Western world’s military and economic alliances start unraveling, America’s going to be left floundering like a stand-up comic without a punchline.

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2025-04-07 19:26