Crypto’s Great Flatlining: Altcoins Audition for Most Dramatic Stagnation

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Somewhere in the high-velocity chaos of a $3.33 trillion crypto economy, bitcoin is cruising just beneath its own summit, while the rest of the digital merry band seem to be napping at the bottom of the hill, snoring through all attempts to break records and, if we’re honest, completely missing the view.

Alts in the Waiting Room, Bitcoin in the Spotlight 🕺

It’s been 44 days since bitcoin (BTC) hit $111,814 per coin—roughly the equivalent of a well-appointed small elephant made out of gold—on May 22, 2025. In the past day, it’s whirled between $107,933 and $108,295, heroically refusing to get up and walk the last 3.3% to a new record. Clearly, it’s taking a well-earned rest (or has simply run out of caffeine). Meanwhile, Ethereum ( ETH) is hanging around at $2,514—a figure so far off its $4,878 peak from November 10, 2021, it might as well need Google Maps to find its way back home (down 48.4%).

XRP clocks in at $2.21, still briskly 34.8% below its clifftop ATH of $3.40 set on January 15, 2025. BNB deserves a pat on the back for being only 17% off its own best, bravely clutching onto $656 like a cat in a bath. Next up is solana ( SOL), trading at $147—a whopping 49% haircut since its $293 high on January 19, 2025. Tron ( TRX) is sulking at $0.283, having slid 34.3% from its December 2024 mountain of $0.431 (which sounds like enough to buy some chewing gum and a vague sense of regret).

Then, there’s Dogecoin ( DOGE): the meme that became a coin, the coin that became a feeling, the feeling now exchanged for $0.163 per bark. Its high of $0.731 was four years ago, which, in dog years, is basically forever—so 77.6% down, which is almost as much as my enthusiasm for formal dress codes. Cardano ( ADA) sits still at the back of the top-ten classroom, racking up a scholarly 81.5% drop from its ATH and setting a new personal best for “most time sent staring wistfully out the window.”

For anyone searching the dustier bits of the coin cupboard, hyperliquid (HYPE) once soared to $45.57 on June 16, 2025, but someone let the air out and now it’s down 14.1%. Sui token (SUI)? Used to be $5.35, now 46% below, currently reconsidering life choices and maybe learning to knit.

As the crypto market continues its collective identity crisis, one thing is certain: the race to beat “all-time high” records now features more autumn leaves and existential pondering than actual running. Please keep hands and feet inside the rollercoaster at all times. 🎢🧐

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2025-07-06 18:57