- Bitcoin? More like Bit-bye-bye-cash if it doesn’t magic its way above $77,400. ππ
- Ethereum‘s about to do a disappearing act below $1,780, poof! 15% gone. β¨π
Oh, look! The tariff monster is out for crypto blood, and investors are running for the hills ahead of todayβs big reveal. πββοΈποΈ
Crypto’s Tariff Terrors
Since the great orange overlord took office, the crypto world has been a rollercoaster, and it’s looking like we’re about to hit another loop-the-loop. π’π΅
On April 2nd, a crypto wizard posted on X (the new Twitter, because reasons) that Bitcoin ETFs bled $157.8 million, and Ethereum ETFs lost $3.6 million on April 1st. Tricky, tricky… π
Investors are yanking their cash out faster than you can say “crypto crash.” And when the money runs, well, let’s just say it’s not a good look for the market. ππΈ
Oh, and institutions? They’re playing it safe, too, because who wants to be the tariff’s next victim? Not them. π ββοΈπ‘οΈ
Price Shenanigans
Despite the doom and gloom, BTC and ETH are putting on a brave face, with tiny gains that are like a “We’re still here!” flag in a storm. π¬οΈπ³οΈβπ
According to CoinMarketCap, BTC is hovering near $84,300, and ETH is at $1,860. But those gains? They’re about as stable as a house of cards in a hurricane. πͺοΈπ
Bitcoin’s had a go at climbing the price mountain but hit a 200-day EMA wall. Now, it’s bracing for a tumble. Watch out below! π§ββοΈπ
If BTC stays below the 200-day EMA, it’s looking at a 6.5% nosedive to $77,400. Yikes! ππ€

Ethereum’s Price Dance
Ethereum’s also doing the tightrope walk near $1,780. One wrong step, and it’s a 15% plunge into the abyss. πΊππ
The daily chart’s a bit like a treasure map, and $1,780 is the X that marks the spot… for a potential nosedive. πΊοΈπ€π

Bearish Bettors on BTC and ETH
Coinglass’s crystal ball shows traders are playing a risky game, stacking up positions like they’re going out of style. Bears are the life of the party right now. π»π
Short positions are all the rage, and if the trend continues, BTC might as well start packing its bags. π§³π

ETH’s not having a great time either. Traders are so bearish, they’re practically growling. πΎπΎ
ETH’s bearish bets are sky-high, and if the tariff hammer drops, it’s lights out for the bulls. ππ

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2025-04-02 20:12