Crypto Lobby’s Wild Ultimatum: Senate Must Save Devs or Else! 🚨

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A cabal of 112 crypto firms and their “very serious” advocacy group friends dropped a note to the Senate: support our market structure bill, or we’ll haunt you with regulatory hellfire. It’s a classic “do this or we’ll cry” tactic, but with NFTs.

  • 112 crypto firms and advocacy groups told Senate committees their support for a market structure bill depends on explicit developer safeguards. Because nothing says “collaboration” like holding a Congress hostage.
  • Signatories demand federal protections for blockchain devs and non-custodial service providers. Because apparently, letting states do their own thing is a terrible idea. Priorities, folks.

On August 27, a coalition of crypto’s A-List (Coinbase, Kraken, a16z, and every lobbying firm that’s ever sold you a “decentralized future”) sent a letter to the Senate Banking and Agriculture committees. It read like a breakup text: “We’re in this together, but only if you change your ways.”

The letter, masterminded by the DeFi Education Fund, said without developer safeguards, the industry “cannot support” the bill. Because nothing says “education” like a bunch of people in suits yelling at lawmakers.

The stakes behind the ultimatum

The letter argues that forcing open-source devs into banking regulations is as logical as making a toaster a bank. It’s a “misclassification” so profound it makes you question reality itself. And yet, here we are.

They also cited a “brain drain” of U.S. devs, who’ve dropped from 25% to 18% since 2021. Because nothing drives talent away faster than regulatory whiplash and existential dread. Thanks, Tornado Cash!

Roman Storm’s trial was basically the crypto version of “Law & Order: Hacks Edition.” Prosecutors claimed he was responsible for North Korean hackers using his protocol? Groundbreaking. Next, they’ll blame you for your cousin’s crypto scams.

The demands

The coalition wants devs shielded from regulation just for writing code. Because, obviously, creating decentralized tech shouldn’t make you a “money transmitter.” Unless you’re a bank. Which you’re not. Probably.

“To create an environment in which innovators across America can confidently and safely build financial infrastructure…” the letter read. Translation: “Don’t jail us unless we’re doing something illegal. Which we’re not. Probably.”

They also want federal preemption to stop states from playing regulatory Russian roulette. Because nothing says “freedom” like 50 different rules for building apps. Priorities, Congress!

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2025-08-28 00:24