Crypto Chaos! Sequoia Executive Roelof Botha & Others Snared in Coinbase Fiasco

Crypto Chaos! Sequoia Executive Roelof Botha & Others Snared in Coinbase Fiasco

Oh, darling, what a grand spectacle! A rather notorious ransacking at Coinbase, leaving countless unsuspecting users’ secrets splashed across the tabloids. And, lo and behold, our dear Roelof Botha, the eagle-eyed Sequoia bigwig, finds himself caught in the digital grubby mess—phone numbers, addresses, and all those juicy tidbits laid bare. How utterly charming! 🥂

The plot thickens—turns out our cyber villains bribed their way past Indian helplines to pilfer the data, demanding a cool twenty million dollars for the privilege—money that Coinbase, unsurprisingly, politely declined (what a surprise!). Apparently, the hackers had been frolicking freely since January, making mischief behind the scenes. Stuff of espionage movies, but oh-so-real! 🎭

Now, dear audience, the flair of this escapade isn’t limited to our crypto aristocrats—no, sir! Roelof, a shining star of the “PayPal Mafia,” joined the illustrious Sequoia in 2003 and only recently became the grand elder in 2022. His reputation’s now as tarnished as a good silver tray. As of this moment, neither Coinbase nor Mr. Botha or Sequoia deign to comment—probably hiding behind their digital curtains, quivering like a Victorian miss at a ball. 💃

To add spice, some crypto cognoscenti received alerts about uninvited visits from cyber-burglars. Meanwhile, across the Channel, France’s interior ministry is panic-buying security for crypto execs—talk about a war on privacy! Reports of kidnapping attempts, including a failed raid on the family of a certain CEO in Paris, have everyone clutching their pearls and double-locking their doors. Ah, the glamorous world of crypto—where safety is optional and scandal is served hot! 🔥

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2025-05-17 14:14

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