Crypto Chaos! Rails & Kraken Team Up to Save Your Digital Donkeys 🐴💸

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What to know:

  • Crypto exchange Rails raises a whopping $14 million in April — making it rain in the digital bank! 💰🌧️
  • This platform—think of it as a crypto roller coaster—lets you hold onto your assets while zooming fast, faster, fastest! 🎢🚀

Hold onto your hats! Crypto exchange Rails just bagged a cool $14 million in a token sale—because apparently, that’s the new way to buy a mansion in the metaverse! 🏰✨ The idea? Combine the elegance of self-custody (like keeping your gold under the mattress) with the speed of a caffeinated cheetah. 🐆⚡

Back in January 2024, they also scooped up $6 million in seed money. So, it’s basically the startup version of a financial sauna—hot, sweaty, and full of promise! 💦🔥

Investors include Kraken — yes, the Kraken, not the sea beast, though both are pretty intimidating — along with Slow Ventures, CMCC Global, Quantstamp, and Round13 Capital. Basically, the Who’s Who of people who wish they understood what’s going on. 🧙‍♂️🧙‍♀️

Rails claims to solve the age-old crypto dilemma: speed versus security (like choosing between pizza and cake—why not both?). 🍕🎂

And get this—users can keep control of their assets while enjoying lightning-fast performance, because who wants to wait, right? Like waiting in line at the DMV, but way more fun! 🎉

The boss, co-founder and CEO Satraj Bambra, says, “Our hybrid model gives you the best of both worlds,” which is tech-speak for “We’re kinda magic.” ✨🧙‍♂️ “You get to see your assets on the blockchain without losing your mind—or your speed.”

Oh, and it’ll support trading for major crypto assets, using fancy tricks like zero-knowledge proofs and Merkle trees—because apparently, nothing says ‘trust me’ like cryptic puzzles. 🔐🧩

And the whole thing runs exclusively on Kraken’s layer-2 network called Ink — yes, Ink! — to make transactions faster and cheaper than your grandma’s bingo night. 🖤💸

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2025-06-04 16:29