Crypto Chaos: 9-Hour Showdown on House Floor

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Well, that was fun. After a record-breaking nine hours of procedural wrangling on the House floor – I’m pretty sure I’ve seen paint dry faster – House Republican leaders finally managed to cut a deal to move forward with not one, not two, but three crypto bills 🤯. And by “cut a deal,” I mean they presumably promised to add a ban on central bank digital currencies (CBDCs) to a must-pass defense spending bill, because, you know, priorities.

The vote to set up floor debate on the bills was a real nail-biter, folks, with a whopping 217-212 in favor. I mean, who doesn’t love a good game of “will they or won’t they” when it comes to crypto regulation? 🤔 And let’s be real, it’s not like the fate of the world was hanging in the balance or anything (although, if you ask some crypto enthusiasts, it probably was).

So, what’s the plan now? Well, House Republican leaders have dubbed this week “Crypto Week” (because, of course they have), and they’re looking to pass a crypto market structure bill called the CLARITY Act, the CBDC-banning Anti-CBDC Surveillance Act, and the stablecoin-regulating GENIUS Act. And, because why not, President Donald Trump wants to sign the GENIUS Act before the weekend. I mean, who doesn’t love a good deadline? 🕒

According to PunchBowl News, House Majority Leader Steve Scalise said the House would vote separately on the GENIUS Act and CLARITY Act as soon as Thursday, but Speaker Mike Johnson said votes on bills other than the GENIUS Act could be pushed to Friday or next week. Because, you know, Congress is all about efficiency and getting things done in a timely manner 😂.

Stay tuned, folks, this is a developing story, and I’m sure there will be many more twists and turns to come. Or, you know, maybe not. Maybe they’ll just pass the bills and we can all go back to our regularly scheduled programming. But where’s the fun in that? 🤷‍♂️

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2025-07-17 06:34