Congress Trades EXPOSED: New ETF to Cash In on Political Shenanigans! 💰😂

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Ah, the grand circus of politics and money, where the performers don’t just juggle words but their own fortunes. Behold! An exchange-traded fund-because why not commodify the dance of American politicians’ bitcoin-and-bullets trading? Rumor has it, this marvelous spectacle might debut as soon as Friday, if the stars (or SEC) align. 🎪💸

Tuttle Capital’s brilliant brainchild, the Government Grift ETF (GRFT), first strutted onto the scene earlier this year, promising to turn congressional secrets into cold, hard cash for the mere mortals who can buy its shares.

According to Bloomberg’s oracle Eric Balchunas, the SEC has theatrically set October 3 as the D-day when Tuttle’s paperwork gains the magic power of “effectiveness.” Until then, the anticipation simmers.

This delightful fund is programmed to comb through the STOCK Act filings, snooping on the trades made by Congress members and their spouses-because who else better to trust with market insights than those who literally write the rules? 🕵️‍♂️

And the plot thickens! GRFT doesn’t just pick from the usual suspects. It chases after companies cozy with the presidential glow, handpicking companies with executives who wink at the White House or bask in presidential praise. Currently, that praise is on Trump, the grand puppeteer of this financial marionette show.

The fund will juggle 10 to 30 stocks and ETFs, sizing bets based on how loudly Congress is whispering into the market’s ear and how brightly the presidential spotlight shines.

In the words of Tuttle from their poetic prospectus, the fund “believes political actors-especially those fumbling in the halls of Congress or cozy with the President-wield the mystical power to sway market fates or possess insider gossip that moves prices.” Quite the trust fall, isn’t it?

Political Puppet Show

CryptoMoon sent a polite owl to Tuttle for insider tales, but the owl returned with silence. Perhaps the messenger got distracted by the buffet.

Crypto’s Cameo in Tuttle’s Political Soap Opera

Trump’s tangled love affair with cryptocurrency is no secret, though some say it’s more of a dramatic rom-com than a love story. 🍿

Among his crypto conquests is the Trump Media & Technology Group (DJT), guardian of a treasure chest holding 15,000 Bitcoin worth a princely $1.7 billion. Their subsidiary Truth Social even flirted with launching spot crypto ETFs, because why not sprinkle stocks with a bit of digital glitter?

American Bitcoin Corp (ABTC) also rides the Trump train, mining Bitcoin and trading publicly, proving there’s always a seat reserved for the presidential clan in the crypto arena.

Not content with mere stocks, Trump also inspired two memecoins-one bearing his name and the other Melania’s-launched just before his inauguration. Nothing screams serious investment like a coin named after your better half!

And lest we forget, the Trump family has sunk a cool $5 billion into WLFI tokens at World Liberty Financial, a crypto platform that’s somehow managed to lure their attention. The empire does love its tokens, doesn’t it?

Tuttle’s Crypto Arsenal: Leveraged and Ready to Rumble

Tuttle is no stranger to the crypto carnival, already juggling leveraged exchange-traded products that chase double daily returns of XRP, Solana, Litecoin, Chainlink, and other mystical beasts of the blockchain. Never a dull moment in their portfolio!

SEC’s Crypto Approval Frenzy: Hold Onto Your Hats

Meanwhile, the SEC has rolled out the red carpet with “generic listing standards” to speed up crypto ETF approvals. This bureaucratic blessing could open floodgates for a parade of crypto ETFs, stepping beyond the humble Bitcoin and Ether offerings currently on the stage.

Analyst Balchunas confidently claims these new rules turn the odds of spot crypto ETF blessings to a full 100%. Apparently, waiting for the SEC’s final green light is the only remaining drama. 🍀

“Generic listing standards make the 19b-4s and their ‘clock’ meaningless. That just leaves the S-1s waiting for formal green light from Corp Finance.”

Such is the grand theater of money and power, where every tick of the market clock is less about value, and more about the whispered secrets of those who hold the script. As the curtain rises on the Government Grift ETF, one wonders: who’s really buying tickets, and who’s running the show?

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2025-09-30 08:03