Coinbase Buys Echo for $375M – What Could Go Wrong? 🤯💸

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Behold, the mighty Coinbase, that titan of the digital gold rush, hath swallowed another fish in the crypto pond! A $375 million bite, if ye be believin’ the tale. Echo, that peculiar platform where crypto startups go to beg for pennies, now finds itself in the clutches of the big bad wolf. 🐺💸

Echo, founded by one Jordan Fish, who goes by the moniker Cobie (a name so spicy it could ignite a blockchain), is a place where folks toss coins at startups like it’s 1890 and gold is still king. “Participate in early-stage fundraising rounds,” they say. More like “throw money at a screen and hope for a miracle.” 🎰

According to the annals of this grand adventure: “Echo has already made strides in opening up private markets, helping projects raise $200M+ over 300 deals.” Aye, and I’ve heard of worse ways to spend a Saturday. Their new product, Sonar, is “helping power Plasma’s XPL token sale.” Sounds like a sci-fi novel. 🚀

The deal, as they say, is a mix of cash and stock, “subject to customary purchase price adjustments.” Which, in plain English, means “we’ll figure it out later, but for now, let’s all pretend we’re smart.” 🤡

“Bringing back Up Only was just the warm up. We’ve acquired @echodotxyz, the leading onchain capital raising platform. → Joining builders with community capital. → Giving investors access to new opportunities. → Growing economic freedom worldwide.”

– Coinbase (@coinbase) October 21, 2025

So there you have it. A tale of greed, glory, and a man named Cobie. May the blockchain bless us all. 🕊️

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2025-10-21 13:55