Stop the presses (or just refresh Twitter): Coinbase is breaking up with five crypto tokens, and honestly, I hope they at least sent a “we need to talk” text.
The ones being left on read: Galxe (GAL), Litentry (LIT), Mines of Dalarnia (DAR), Orion Protocol (ORN), and PARSIQ (PRQ). If you own any of these, congratulations on finding the rare Pokémon of crypto… but also, maybe call your accountant? 🤷♀️
Why the sudden breakup? Well, Coinbase did their annual “are you still good enough for me?” check, and these tokens apparently failed the vibe check. It’s like The Bachelor, but with less Chris Harrison and more market volatility. 🌹💔
Coinbase says it’s all about “monitoring performance, security, and utility,” which, if we’re being honest, are the exact qualities I look for in a date (and so far, have found in neither crypto nor men).
So what are you supposed to do with these soon-to-be ex-tokens? Sell, swap, or frame them as a memento of a simpler time—just don’t sit around waiting for a reunion tour.
Stay tuned as the May 16 delisting date approaches… and try not to panic-sell while crying into your ramen. Updates to follow, probably along with more drama and maybe, just maybe, some memeable content. 🙃
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2025-05-03 20:54