Crypto news

In a post upon the modern bulletin of X, Miss Amelie declared the arrangement to be of immense consequence for XRP, as both realms resolve to align on stablecoins, tokenization, and cross‑border market access. The pundit further noted that Ripple’s Managing Director, Miss Cassie Craddock, affirmed that the US-UK Transatlantic Taskforce would procure closer cooperation in digital assets-perhaps over afternoon tea and regulatory amendments alike. ☕️📜

Now, don’t hold your breath waiting for this rollout to happen. The SEC is like that friend who promises to bring dessert to dinner but only shows up with half a bag of gummy bears. They say this is a priority, but a date? Who knows! The transformation could happen in the next few days, or, you know, when pigs fly. 🐷✈️

ETH, ever the drama queen, rose to $4,231 only to settle at $4,156-a 0.60% ascent that screams “I’m fine, really.” Meanwhile, XRP, SOL, and DOGE languish in the dungeon of losses, joined by ADA (-1%), LINK, XLM, HBAR, LTC, TON, and DOT. One might call it a clearance sale for digital dreams. 🗑️

Far from euphoric, the altcoin market is presenting rare opportunities for accumulation, which is basically finance’s way of saying “now would be a good time to pretend you’re not panicking while quietly buying things.” The universe, meanwhile, hands you a towel and a spreadsheet, and asks you to enjoy the ride. 😅

Grab a cup o’ Joe and settle in while we unravel the tale of a man who claims to outsmart the entire human race. His latest stunt? Gambling his life savings on Bitcoin (BTC), all while spouting scripture and calling himself the “second coming of Satoshi.” Folks, it’s a circus, and the ringmaster’s got a calculator in one hand and a Bible in the other.

Investors may convert their notes into cash, Bit Digital shares, or a combination of both. The conversion rate is 240.3846 shares per $1,000 of principal, implying a premium of 30% above the company’s last closing price of $3.20. Bit Digital estimates it will net around $128.9 million in proceeds, or $143.3 million if underwriters exercise their full option to purchase an additional $15 million. 🤑

While BTC’s price dons its Sunday best and struts upward, investors on Binance-the Ritz of crypto exchanges-are playing musical chairs with their coins. Market oracle Burak Kesmeci (a man who’s *definitely* read a whitepaper or two) notes that net deposits have plummeted faster than a soufflé in a hurricane. Translations: traders are shipping BTC to private wallets like it’s contraband at a customs checkpoint.

We’ve got a real-life soap opera here folks. First, you have Jian Wen, her partner-in-crime, getting sentenced for her role in the whole mess. It’s a family affair, only instead of a Thanksgiving dinner, they throw in a nice little investment fraud party. 🍗

Enter Bob Ras of CoreNest Capital, the self-proclaimed crypto agony aunt. “Ripple tried to replace SWIFT for years. Now SWIFT added blockchain. Plot twist alert!” he chirped on X, like he’s the queen of obvious. “Maybe it’s time to pivot?” he suggested, as if Ripple’s roadmap isn’t already a choose-your-own-adventure novel. 📚

U.S. bank Citizens began coverage of Circle Internet (CRCL) with a market perform rating, noting that while the company is poised to capitalize on stablecoin growth, its valuation already captures much of the upside. 😅