Crypto news

So, to make this happen, the House of Doge has, like, *bought* 10 million Dogecoins. Worth a cool $1.8 million. At the current price, naturally. This is supposed to whizz up blockchain transactions, which, if I’m honest, still sounds a bit like something out of Star Trek. But hey, if it means I can buy my lattes quicker, I’m all for it. ☕

Oh, the eternal dance of XRP price, a waltz of whimsy and woe. It starts a fresh recovery wave above the $2.40 zone, only to correct its gains and revisit the $2.35 support. Ah, the drama! 🤣

This isn’t just a minor update; it’s like the crypto gods have decided to bless us mere mortals with a taste of the mainstream! 🙌 21Shares is basically saying, “Hey, Sweden, let’s make trading these digital goodies as easy as pie!” (And we all know how much easier it is to eat pie than to explain blockchain to your grandma.)

Okay, so after this breakout, XRP decides to form a Morning Star pattern at the support level. And let me tell you, this is like the ultimate sign of a bull run! 🐂 According to our expert technical analysis (i.e., me, a genius), XRP is now totally bullish, and if it stays above $2.35, it’s gonna soar like a eagle to $3.40 in no time! 🕊️

Now listed on major exchanges, BGSC runs on the BNB Smart Chain (BSC), delivering transactions faster than you can say “that’s too good to be true,” all with lower fees. Because who doesn’t love spending less while pretending to be a financial wizard?

According to Reuters (because, you know, journalism), Massachusetts’ securities regulator has decided to investigate Robinhood’s latest ~marketing masterpiece~ sports betting operation. Secretary Bill Galvin, who apparently has nothing better to do than keep an eye on Robinhood’s shenanigans, has officially subpoenaed the company for its marketing materials. He also wants to know exactly how many thrill-seeking, college basketball-obsessed, Robinhood-loving Massachusetts residents have been gambling away their retirement funds—oops, I mean “trading” on those event contracts.

On the illustrious date of March 24, the exchange unveiled this grand plan, marking the first time it has embarked on such a strategic venture. A spokesperson, with all the gravity and dignity befitting the occasion, explained that the true purpose is to ward off the specter of external control over the token supply. These repurchased tokens, like ancient treasures, will be held for the ages.

But let’s not get too excited. This little uptick is a refreshing change from the downward spiral we’ve been on. Traders are buzzing again, like bees around a honey pot, and suddenly everyone’s got something to say about the market. Who knew a little green could spark so much chatter? 🐝

But the really juicy news is that Strategy (formerly MicroStrategy) is at it again, buying up 6,911 BTC for a cool $584.1 million at an average price of $84,529 per BTC. 🤑

Now, Severino’s sayin’ that Bitcoin’s latest dip below $90,000 ain’t nothin’ to sneeze at. He’s pointin’ to the troughs—those dark moments when the market’s about as cheerful as a rainy day in March—and sayin’ they’re actually the best time to hop on the Bitcoin bandwagon. 🌦 BTC