The CoinDesk 20, that grand bazaar of digital dreams, now stands at 4293.2, a pitiful 0.9% decline since the hour of 4 p.m. ET on Thursday. Alas, the market, like a nose in a Gogol novel, has taken a peculiar turn downward. 😩
It seems like finding a block has become the modern equivalent of winning the lottery-and no, it’s not the fun, big-check kind. The odds just jumped 5.97%, taking the difficulty to a staggering 150.84 trillion. Good luck, miners!
Grok, that sardonic oracle of the digital age, has been summoned to divine the fates of two such performers: the venerable $DOGE and the upstart $MAXI. Let us, with the solemnity of Tolstoy dissecting a peasant’s soul, unravel this tale of speculative folly.
Bloomberg whispers the word through a fog of numbers: Jez Mohideen, the CEO of Laser Digital, says the company is in the process of obtaining a license to offer crypto trading services to institutional clients in Japan. The Swiss outpost, pale and prudent as a monk counting breaths, is deep in talks with Japan’s Financial Services Agency (FSA) before the official consultation begins. A delicate ballet of paperwork, signatures, and the breathless anticipation of something that could either save or ruin a balance sheet. 🤔💼
$4.5 million fled exchanges like a thief in the night, hoarding LINK in vaults of privacy. The MVRV ratio, now climbing, whispers: “Profitability is here! Or at least, it’s wearing a really convincing disguise.” 🎭📈
Bitcoin, that wily trickster, nibbles at the $120,000 threshold like a peasant eyeing a nobleman’s pie. Will it feast or be slapped away? The bears, those hapless fools, pile on shorts, unaware they might ignite a short squeeze-a pyre of their own making. 🔥
Chainlink has been on a shopping spree, expanding its Strategic Reserve like a prepper stocking up for the apocalypse. Funded by both on-chain and off-chain revenue (because why put all your eggs in one blockchain?), the reserve now sits at 417,461 LINK, valued at over $9.3 million. The average cost basis? A cool $22.51 per LINK. The latest haul? 46,000 tokens on October 2. That’s right, Chainlink is the Scrooge McDuck of crypto, swimming in a vault of digital gold. 🤑
Despite this strong push, holders appear unconvinced of its sustainability, with selling pressure rising as investors move to secure profits. The market, a fickle lover, clings to hope while its heart beats with fear. 🧠💸
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a bank in possession of a vast fortune must be in want of a cryptocurrency to predict. 📈💰 Standard Chartered, that paragon of prudence, managing $850 billion in assets, has declared with the utmost confidence that Bitcoin shall ascend to a new all-time high within the next week. … Read more
Bitcoin has risen 10% this week, as if the market itself had suddenly remembered how to breathe. Wallets, those digital reliquaries of wealth, have abandoned distribution for accumulation like penitents seeking redemption. On Thursday, Bitcoin pierced $121,000-a height last seen in August, when the world was younger and hope less expensive.