Category: Crypto news

Ethereum price couldn’t stay above $1,800, and extended losses, like Bitcoin. Like a meshuggener with no direction. It went as low as $1,751 and then said “Okay, I’ll correct some gains” There was a move above $1,780 and $1,800. Such chutzpah!

Alas, dear reader, the digital world is on the cusp of a most unpleasant transformation. The rapid advancement of quantum computing, that most wondrous and terrifying of technologies, threatens to upend our very understanding of security.

You see, the former Binance CEO inked a deal with Kyrgyzstan’s foreign investment agency, promising to share his secrets of the crypto realm. 📜💰

At a moment when Bitcoin shuffles along with a modest 24% growth since the last election—a rise hardly worthy of a half-hearted yawn—Morehead, that audacious soothsayer of finance, claims the market is crawling along at a snail’s pace. In his musings on X, he prods us to ponder why the price tag isn’t higher, given the political circus unfolding around us.

Bitcoin, our dear old friend, has been playing hard to get, hovering between $76,000 and $87,000. It’s like watching paint dry, but with more anxiety. Glassnode’s telltale signs? The Realized Profit/Loss Ratio is whispering “seller exhaustion,” but it’s not quite ready to shout “bullish momentum” from the rooftops.

On a perfectly ordinary Thursday, TVP, a firm that dabbles in the art of early-stage Bitcoin investments, dropped a truth bombshell in the form of a report. It turns out, in the grand tapestry of time spanning just four years, Bitcoin startups have seen a 767% surge in funding. That’s like jumping from a paper plane to a spaceship!

Some crypto guy, Javon Marks, says it’s setting itself up for a 270% surge. 270%! Can you imagine? Suddenly, everyone’s a Dogecoin billionaire. I mean, maybe. He even drew a chart with lines and arrows, the whole nine yards. Makes it all seem so official.

For Dogecoin to leap into the realm of the free and the brave, it must first conquer the great walls of resistance at $0.21 and $0.18. Analyst Ali Martinez, with his crystal ball in hand, believes that once DOGE leaps over the $0.21 barrier, it’s off to the races past $0.36 and beyond. But will it happen? Only the stars know.

Technical signals, those cold, unfeeling harbingers of doom, show sellers firmly in control. The widening chasm from resistance zones makes a near-term recovery seem as likely as a snowball surviving hell.

On the mystical platform known as X, Martinez has unveiled a TA pattern that’s as tricky as a leprechaun’s promise. It’s an Ascending Channel, which is like a crypto escalator that only goes up, or so they say. 🚡