Cryptonews

On March 2, 2026, in a glitzy on-ice ceremony at the Crypto.com Arena (because naming rights are a thing now), the announcement was made during a game between the LA Kings and the Colorado Avalanche. Sure, because nothing says “we care about your education” like an ice hockey game. Joining the festivities were After-School All-Stars founder Arnold Schwarzenegger, because apparently he does more than just lifting things, and Luc Robitaille, President of the LA Kings-two people who, in their own ways, know how to throw a decent charity event.

The war did not shatter Iran’s crypto backbone; it proved, with the unglamorous precision of a courtroom, how indispensable stablecoins have become to its heartbeats and headaches alike.

According to the ECB, when folks swap euros for stablecoins, banks lose access to cheap, reliable funding-retail deposits-as predictably as a Vogon poetry reading loses an audience. Banks are now forced to rely on pricier wholesale funding, which comes with interest rates as volatile as a drunken supernova.

The price of Shiba Inu keeps breaking below short-term consolidation triangles that at first seemed to offer stabilization, resulting in one technical failure after another. For a brief period, each of these formations hinted at a possible reversal, or at the very least, a halt to the decline. Rather, they have decided to go lower, which has strengthened the ongoing bearish control. It’s like watching a toddler try to build a bridge with spaghetti-every attempt ends in a glorious, sticky mess.

Yes, folks, the same lawmakers who once treated CBDCs like radioactive spaghetti now say, “Not now, maybe never… or maybe in five years? We’ll circle back!”

The NEAR token, ever the drama queen, soared 40% this week, climaxing in a 10% leap overnight to breach $1.40. Trading volume surged, as did investor fervor, though one wonders if this is conviction or collective delusion.

What a 58.1% surge in four days, fueled by the alchemy of high spot volume! One might say the market was less a bull and more a particularly energetic goat, leaping over the $0.2 supply zone with the grace of a poet reciting sonnets to a brick wall.

As Joao Wedson, the so-called ‘guru’ behind Alphractal, pointed out in a recently shared proclamation on X, the 30-day active supply of Bitcoin has been plummeting like a meteor hurtling toward Earth. This dramatic decrease is a glaring sign that, not so surprisingly, fewer BTC are being passed around the digital marketplace these days. Fewer trades, less excitement, and a general sense that the party is winding down-at least for now.

A 2026 report from Chainalysis revealed that Iran’s crypto empire grew from $7.4 billion to $7.8 billion in a single year. Not bad for a country where the local currency, the Rial, has essentially been replaced by a very expensive paperweight. It’s like the financial equivalent of a toddler’s crayon drawing-valuable to the owner, utterly baffling to everyone else.

So, Circle (CRCL) shares are up 20% this week. Why? Because Israel and the U.S. decided to play fireworks with Iran, and oil prices went, “Hold my crude.” Mizuho’s like, “Yeah, this is great for Circle because inflation’s back, baby, and the Fed’s rate cuts are as dead as my social life.”