Crypto news

Let’s talk numbers, darlings. Hayes confidently predicts Bitcoin will gallop through the finish line at $110K before cooling its jets to casually nap at the $76,500 mark—how pretentious! Why so bold, you ask? Hayes is betting on the Federal Reserve to pivot from quantitative tightening (QT) to quantitative easing (QE). It’s like switching from CrossFit to yoga—it brings in liquidity, calms stress, and reminds you that Bitcoin is bad at taking direction from overly serious economists.

Arkham Intelligence, a digital oracle of sorts, reveals that the esteemed family’s crypto vault has expanded by 3.54 million MNT tokens. A veritable treasure trove, valued at a modest $2.18 per token, was plundered from the Odos decentralized exchange. Verily, this is not their first foray; a week prior, they annexed a cool 1.57 million MNT tokens, signaling a veritable crypto land grab.

Last week, gold did its best rocket impersonation, shooting up to a whopping $3k! And guess what? The crypto market decided to hitch a ride on the bullish bandwagon. Oh, and those U.S.-led tariff wars? Apparently, they’re so 2024.

WLFI, in their infinite wisdom, purchased about 3.54 million MNT for nearly $3 million USDC – that’s real money, folks! – for an average purchase price of 84 cents. Data sources Lookonchain and Arkham Intelligence confirm this, so it *must* be true. Though, one does ponder the reliability of these “intelligence” agencies. Were they sober at the time? 🤔

Now, it’s no secret that XRP has been experiencing something of a downward trajectory in market dominance since its glory days in 2017. However, a recent break above this downtrend suggests that a reversal might be on the cards. Could this mean XRP is set to reclaim its former glory, much like a time traveler returning to the disco era? Only time, and perhaps a bit of luck, will tell. 🕰️การศึกษา

Remember back in 2022 when they sanctioned Tornado Cash for allegedly helping North Korean hackers launder money? Yeah, that was a whole thing 😬. Tornado Cash users sued the Treasury, and after a bit of back and forth, the court ruled in favor of Tornado Cash. So, Treasury, like the good little government agency it is, said “oops, my bad” and removed Tornado Cash from the sanctions list.

In the dank dungeons of the cryptocurrency market, a glimmer of hope flickered for XRP, as it embarked on a fresh recovery wave, boldly transcending the $2.250 zone, like a Soviet dissident defying the iron grip of oppression. 😏

So, the migration and Know Your Customer (KYC) process are done—cue the confetti! 🎉 But wait, many users are still standing outside the token claim party like they forgot their invitation. As a result, Pi is lagging behind the market like a kid who forgot their lunch on field trip day. Is it a good time to buy? Well, that’s like asking if it’s a good time to eat a day-old sandwich. 🤔

“Bitcoin is attempting to form a bottom, supported by Trump’s recent shift toward ‘flexibility’ on the upcoming April 2 reciprocal tariffs, softening his earlier rhetoric,” proclaimed Markus Thielen, the founder of 10x Research, in a report that could have been mistaken for a Shakespearean soliloquy.

Now, let me tell you, the crypto traders are tiptoeing around like a cat on a hot tin roof, all cautious and jittery due to the current market shenanigans. This careful approach has put a damper on buying pressure, but don’t let that fool you! The flow trends are hinting at a shift in strategy, not a complete abandonment of hope. It’s like watching a turtle poke its head out of its shell—slow, but there’s still life in there!