In a miraculous twist of fate, Bitcoin has surged from a humble $83,820 to an almost celestial $88,000 in the blink of an eye—24 hours, to be precise! Such dramatic ascents are rarely without consequence, and here we find ourselves witnessing the great migration of funds, a veritable exodus that hints at a profound shift in the collective psyche of investors.
Lucie, the illustrious marketing lead for Shiba Inu, took to the digital ether known as X to declare that SHIB possesses all the right attributes to become an ETF. With a presence on over 110 exchanges and a staggering 212 trading pairs, she argues that this furry little coin is practically begging to be traded on the grand stage of an exchange-traded fund. One can only imagine the excitement of investors, who are now pondering whether a meme coin can indeed follow in the illustrious footsteps of Bitcoin and Ethereum. 🤑
In his latest theatrical venture, Trump, with the flair of a showman, announces this momentous occasion as “Liberation Day” for the beleaguered American economy—a title bursting with a curious blend of bravado and naïveté, wouldn’t you agree? 🎭
In a press release that could only be described as a modern-day proclamation, Tabit declared this feat an “industry first.” The auditors and regulators, those guardians of financial propriety, are now able to verify this financing in real time. One can only imagine their bemusement as they navigate the labyrinthine world of cryptocurrency, where every transaction is a dance of shadows and light.
Esteemed experts of the cryptographic markets have opined, with a twinkle in their eye and a flourish of their quill, that SHIB hath indeed broken free from the shackles of its consolidation and a most oppressive descending trendline, which hath served as a formidable resistance since the commencement of January2025.
In an interview with Fox Business, Garlinghouse explained that the U.S. government has finally stopped treating the crypto industry like a piñata at a regulatory party. No more lawsuits, no more “regulation by enforcement”—just pure, unadulterated growth. Or so he says. 📈
On the fine day of March 24, a day that shall live in infamy, Nostra discovered that their price feed had inflated the reported prices of xSTRK and sSTRK — two liquid staking derivatives of Starknet’s native STRK token — to a staggering three times their actual value. One can only imagine the chaos that ensued, like a flock of pigeons startled by a sudden clap of thunder! 🐦💨
For two glorious weeks, Bitcoin has been prancing upwards, its spirits buoyed by a bullish weekly close just a smidgen over $86,000 on March23, as per the wizards at CoinMarketCap. This upward jig has tickled the fancy of analysts who are now donning their rose-tinted spectacles, predicting Bitcoin will make a dash for $110,000 before it thinks about having a little lie-down.
But first, a brief retrospective: Bitcoin’s weekly performance, a veritable rollercoaster of emotions, managed a respectable 4.24% climb, peaking at an intra-day high of $88,804. One might even describe it as a bullish stance, were one inclined towards such base and pedestrian descriptions. Suffice it to say, the daily chart’s 200-day exponential moving average (EMA) was convincingly conquered, much like a debutante’s triumphant navigation of her first season. 🌹
He’s even got a snappy explanation for his TikTok-loving followers: “The Fed is going from QT to QE for treasuries. And tariffs don’t matter cause “transitory inflation”. JAYPOW told me so.” 🙄