The reason for this comedic tragedy? China, it seems, hath dared to impose export restrictions on rare earth minerals, those precious morsels essential for crafting computer chips. Our dear President, ever the dramatist, took to Truth Social to pen his lament:
And would you believe it, the beastly thing crossed the $900,000 milestone over the weekend, having rustled up a whopping $902,096 thus far – quite the sum for a pup that’s still learning its manners. 🚀
The firm’s CEO, Tarek Mansour, announced on X that Sequoia and a16z led the round, with a chorus of others-Paradigm, Coinbase Ventures, General Catalyst, CapitalG, Spark-and a constellation of names that read like a salon guest list: Kevin Hart, Kevin Durant, Rich Kleiman, Mantis, Kevin Yorn. The air is thick with risk and charm, a curious blend indeed.
The claim from the White House was that Beijing is “very hostile” and, unsurprisingly, that someone has been lying. If you listen carefully, you can hear the room where the adults used to speak now being taken over by a chorus of economists with a sense of melodrama that would make a soap opera blush. 😅
These past months have seen XRP battling the ferocious bears that tried to cap its momentum, with all the subtlety of a bear trying to squeeze into a tiny tent. Despite the overwhelming resistance, the price didn’t drop much. Why? Because institutional interest is as steady as a rock, thanks to Ripple’s expanding ecosystem and the warm reception of its native stablecoin, RLUSD. According to Defillama (yes, that’s a thing), the RLUSD stablecoin’s circulating market cap has reached a whopping $788.51 million.
This incessant exodus from their gargantuan pouches arrives at the most precarious juncture for our token, struggling mightily to perch above that fickle $3 throne, besieged by the wailing gales of retail despair and equivocal omens from the technical oracles-truly, a comedy of market errors!
What was stolen, you ask? The thief, a shadowy figure in the ever-expanding cosmos of the web, managed to abscond with around $17.5 million in DAI stablecoins (yes, stable-until they’re not) and a rather curious collection of 3.11 million SYRUPUSDP tokens (a name so smooth, it practically begs for a cocktail). The hacker then danced through the digital ether, weaving these funds across chains, carrying them to the Ethereum network as though it were just another stroll through the park. 🌐💰
Behold, the chart, a labyrinth of lines and levels, reveals PENGU coiling like a spring in a teacup. Upside targets? A mere $0.09, $0.097, and the vaunted $0.134. A rounding bottom, they say, a measured move, a breakout case-all the jargon of the soothsayers. 📈 But who can resist the allure of a penguin in flight? 🦢
How, you ask, did this calamity befall? Why, the scoundrel simply pilfered the private key, a feat as subtle as a clown stealing a pie at a banquet! 🎭🔑
Bitcoin finance infrastructure maestro Maestro has graciously announced the open-source release of its dazzling Bitcoin indexer, Symphony! This elegant creation is destined to expedite the birth of complex financial applications, collectively known as BitcoinFi. Oh, how wonderful it is to behold such grandeur!