Crypto news

Enter Andrei Grachev, the knight in shining armor from DWF Labs. This guy’s like the fire department for crypto catastrophes, ready to save the day when things go up in flames. 🔥🚒

What, you ask, has caused this calamity? Well, it appears that the weak manufacturing PMI and JOLTS data have cast a shadow darker than a moonless night over our digital currencies. The March PMI data, bless its heart, dropped to a dismal 49, trailing behind the expected 49.5 and far from the glorious 50 of February. It’s as if the economy decided to take a long nap, leaving us all in a state of bewilderment.

First up, the ISM Manufacturing PMI report for March. Will it be a feast or famine for the US manufacturing sector? Analysts predict a slight uptick from 50.3 to 50.6, but don’t let those numbers fool you – it’s still a contraction. 🙃 If the mighty greenback falters, Bitcoin and friends might just find themselves in the spotlight. 💡

Ah, Dogecoin! The jester of the crypto court, has experienced a delightful 6% rally in the past 24 hours, now trading at the princely sum of $0.1700. This surge, dear reader, comes after a period of tedious consolidation, a veritable purgatory for the impatient investor.

Cryptocurrency’s very own seer, Ali Martinez, has rolled out a chart from our friends at Santiment that could rival any plot twist in a West End play. It seems that in March, our colossal marine friends, known affectionately as whales, decided to offload nearly 200 million ADA coins. These are not the mere minnows of the crypto pond, mind you, but the grand cetaceans, those wallets boasting between one million and ten million ADA. 🐋

In this chaotic dance of volatility, let us delve into the strongest crypto token that investors must cling to this week, lest they find themselves adrift in a sea of uncertainty.

Sticking to their plan like a cat to a sunbeam, the company is putting 15% of its profits each quarter into more bitcoin purchases. Their current bitcoin stack is worth $7.7 billion, which is just above $83,000 per bitcoin. I mean, who needs a savings account when you can gamble on digital coins?

Cardano (ADA: $0.67, 24h volatility: 3.9%, Market cap: $24.22 B, Vol. 24h: $764.24 M) is now setting its sights on Bitcoin (BTC: $83,760, 24h volatility: 1.5%, Market cap: $1.66 T, Vol. 24h: $25.03 B), aiming to drag the OG crypto into the DeFi arena. Hoskinson, in his usual flair, declared that institutional investors will soon be forced to dabble in Bitcoin-based DeFi solutions, whether they like it or not. 🏦

The company has ingeniously executed this purchase through the whims of its Bitcoin Treasury Operations, using what they describe as a cash-secured put options strategy—wonderful jargon that makes you sound smart at the next cocktail party! 🥂 Imagine, Bitcoin bought at below-market prices! They managed to nab these beauties at an average price of ¥14,586,230 (or $105,700 for those counting in dollars), culminating in a total expenditure of ¥10.15 billion (around $73.5 million if you’re financially challenged, like many of us).