Okay, folks, let’s get real here. The crypto market is a hot mess right now, and Bitcoin’s price is all over the place. Like, it’s been stuck in a rut since January, and I’m starting to think it’s just trying to drive us all crazy. 🤯
But wait! Arthur Hayes, the co-founder of BitMEX and self-proclaimed crypto oracle, drops this bombshell: he thinks Bitcoin will hit $250,000 by the end of 2025. Yeah, you heard me right. Seems a bit optimistic, doesn’t it? But that’s the world we live in—dream big or go home, right?
During a speech on Sunday to an American PAC town hall in Green Bay, Wisconsin, Elon Musk crushed Dogecoin dreams faster than a Tesla accelerates. He explained there are no plans for the government to adopt the memecoin nor any cryptocurrency, while acknowledging the hype generated from his longtime allegiance with Dogecoin. 🎤💔
Fresh data collected on April 1, 2025, via hashrateindex.com, illustrates a descent in hashprice from $48.84 per PH/s on March 1 to the current $46.92. This figure encapsulates the hypothetical daily return for 1 PH/s of mining production. Despite the month’s downward trajectory, the hashprice oscillated dramatically, climbing to a peak of $54.38 in early March before eroding to a trough of $44.05 by March 10.
A certain amount of selling did ensue upon approaching the middle band, yet should the price of Bitcoin continue its accumulation behind this middle band, represented by the 20-day moving average, it might well presage a further uptrend, with the upper band at a dizzying $88,180 serving as the ultimate destination. A trifling 5% move, you say? Yet ’tis enough, I assure you, for the market to regain its former optimism. Perhaps even excessive optimism, which is a malady in itself. 🤔
Now, before you start buying DOGE with your grandma’s life savings, remember that past performance is about as reliable as a politician’s promise. But these numbers do make you wonder if history might be about to repeat itself, like a bad joke at a party you can’t escape.
Behold, the majestic downfall of PI, a cryptocurrency that was released to the public with all the fanfare of a Russian aristocrat’s ball, only to plummet by a staggering 75% since its $3 all-time high. One can only imagine the champagne toasts and caviar canapés that accompanied its peak in late February. 🥂
Lo and behold, the SHIB has ascended by a modest 3.61% in but a single day, as if carried by the wings of a whimsical fairy.
Oh, darling, the drama continues! Solana is flirting dangerously close to the $100 mark. The daily chart is showing a bearish flag pattern, which sounds fancy but really just means it’s waving a white flag of surrender. This pattern is like a bad breakup: it usually leads to a strong bearish breakout. 💔
But wait! The Relative Strength Index (RSI) is doing the wave, hinting at a bullish reversal. Can ETH break through that resistance like a karate kid? 🥋