Crypto news

“Silver will slingshot to all-time new highs”—Rich Dad Poor Dad author Robert Kiyosaki has spoken, and we must listen!

According to this Setupsfx fella, XRP’s been playin’ possum, consolidatin’ like a lazy cat on a sunny porch. But now, it’s ready to pounce, and the charts are screamin’ “$3.5 or bust!” And if that ain’t enough, the analyst’s got his eyes on the prize, thinkin’ XRP could even shatter its all-time high of $3.84. Now, that’s what I call shootin’ for the stars.

Oh, the joyous day! Kraken, that grand crypto Leviathan, has embraced Ripple USD (RLUSD) into its digital depths. As of 16:00 UTC on April 2, the trading of this USD-pegged token commenced, and Kraken couldn’t help but shout from the digital rooftops:

According to Bloomberg, Cuomo, who is technically still a registered attorney in New York (because why not?), started advising OKX sometime after August 2021. That’s right, just months after he stepped down as governor. Because nothing says “fresh start” like diving headfirst into a crypto scandal. 🚀

It seems that the wise and wary analyst Benjamin Cowen has foreseen a grim fate for Ethereum (ETH), should the stock market decide to play its trump card of despair. In a recent strategy session, Cowen imparted his wisdom to his 889,000 YouTube followers, a number as vast as the Siberian steppes, warning that the S&P 500 may continue to falter in April. This, he suggests, could drag the noble ETH down to realms it would rather not visit.

According to the report, which seemed to have been conjured from the depths of social media’s imagination, these new banknotes were set to become legal tender on the rather auspicious date of May 1, 2025. One can only assume that the CBN Deputy Governor, Ibrahim Tahir, was busy sipping tea and enjoying a good book, as he was purportedly quoted in this fanciful tale. The report suggested that these new notes would not only reduce cash-handling costs but also provide Nigerians with a more efficient means of conducting large transactions. Quite the promise, wouldn’t you say? 😏

Because what’s a Wednesday evening without a little excitement, right? 🤔 Geologists in China have announced the discovery of a whoppin’ 1,000-ton gold deposit in the northeast part of the country. Because, you know, one ton of gold just isn’t enough. 🤑

Enter Justin Sun, the crypto billionaire who evidently moonlights as a doomsday prophet. He took to the social media battleground X (formerly known as Twitter) to rally his troops. “Take immediate action!” he bellowed. And you thought your mom was dramatic when she spotted a spider in the bathroom! 🕷️

Grayscale has rolled out these shiny new ETFs, promising to sprinkle some income-generating fairy dust on your Bitcoin investments. According to the press release, the BTCC and BPI are here to capitalize on Bitcoin’s wild price swings while you sit back and sip your overpriced coffee. ☕💸

Last week, they sent a bid to the White House through their shiny new family-friendly crowdfunding company, Zoop. Yes, you heard that right! Zoop! Sounds like a name for a zany cartoon character, doesn’t it? 🦙