In a week that felt like a bad reality show, Bitcoin ETFs faced a net selling of $107.81 million. It seems like investors are pulling back from riskier assets like Bitcoin, probably because they heard the word “tariff” and thought, “Nope, not today!” The sell-off followed a rollercoaster ride of volatility, with spot Bitcoin ETFs getting hit harder than a piñata at a kid’s birthday party. 🎉
According to the venerable Wall Street Journal, Circle, much like an anxious debutante on the eve of her ball, finds itself at a crossroads. It peers into the financial abyss, pondering its next move with trepidation, akin to Klarna and StubHub, who too, are caught in this waltz of hesitation.
According to the ever-reliable blockchain voyeur, Lookonchain, one particularly audacious whale has been on a shopping spree. This creature of the deep, who previously splurged $5.97 million on 3,195 ETH, has now added another 4,100 ETH to its collection for a cool $7.32 million. Because, why not?
As the momentum wanes like a winter sunset, the villagers—our dear market participants—are peering through their telescopes, hoping to spot a glimmer of hope. Will the bulls, like knights in shining armor, ride to the rescue and reclaim their lost ground? Or will the bears, like a relentless winter storm, continue to ravage the land? Only time will tell. ⏳🐻
Since the Digital Services Act (DSA) took its first breath in October 2022, it has been a sword of Damocles hanging over social media platforms, designed to ensure they toe the line of decency and legality. Should X be found guilty of transgressions, it could face fines up to 6% of its global revenue. And what a revenue that could be, if one dares to consider the vast empire of Musk!
Ah, the Financial Intelligence Analysis Unit (FIAU). Sounds awfully bureaucratic, doesn’t it? Like a department dedicated to counting grains of sand. Anyway, these fine folks at the FIAU, during a surprise inspection (unannounced, mind you, like the NKVD at your doorstep!), uncovered a veritable hornet’s nest of anti-money laundering violations. Systemic, they say! Like a pattern woven by the devil himself.
Fidelity clients, residing in states where Fidelity Digital Assets indulges in crypto individual retirement arrangements (IRAs), can now merrily invest in these assets. A simple crypto IRA opening is all it takes, and voilà! You’re cryptocurrency-ing your way to retirement.
Once upon a time, those tokens were mere trinkets, valued at a paltry $37.7 million. But lo! The sands of time have shifted, and the value hath soared to a staggering $206 million, a veritable446% augmentation. Arkham Intelligence, that venerable institution of digital lore, proclaims this the “largest single-day unlock of staked SOL,” and assures us that such a spectacle shall not grace our presence again until the year2028.
“We are very well-positioned to wait for greater clarity,” pronounced the illustrious Powell from some podium, “before contemplating any alterations to our monetary stance.” His voice echoed with the kind of gravitas that could almost rival a funeral sermon: “It is, alas, too soon to declare the appropriate trajectory for our monetary musings.”
After a couple of years of growth that could be described as ‘not terrible,’ analysts are now donning their pessimist hats, predicting a growth rate that could be generously called ‘sluggish.’