Crypto news

As fiat currencies crumble faster than a gluten-free cookie, Park predicts Bitcoin will moon harder than a SpaceX launch. 🚀

Investors’ waning enthusiasm for SOL might have something to do with the April 4 staking unlock of 1.79 million SOL, worth a cool $200 million. Selling pressure? Oh, it’s there. These tokens were staked back in April 2021 when SOL was trading at a modest $23. Add to that the fading interest in memecoins—once the lifeblood of new user adoption on Solana—and you’ve got a recipe for “growth without the glow.” 📉

This fella Seyffart, some bigwig at Bloomberg, an ETF wrangler, says it’s “remarkable.” Remarkable! As if he’s never seen a cockroach survive a nuclear blast. “It’s remarkable that BTC has held its own,” he says, plain as day. Well, bless his heart. Bitcoin’s just showin’ the world what it’s made of – grit, stubbornness, and a whole lotta digital pixie dust. ✨

On Friday, the SEC made it official: Tether’s USDT and Circle’s USDC are good to go. But they didn’t say a word about those fancy algorithmic ones that almost turned crypto into a big, digital mess. 😳

Will it rise from the ashes like a phoenix—or perhaps more fittingly, like a dog emerging from a muddy puddle? Let us embark on this journey of Shiba Inu price prediction for April, shall we?

INX’s board has already given the thumbs up, which is great news for them, but I can’t help but wonder if they were all just really excited about the prospect of a company picnic. This acquisition means Republic is buying one of the leading U.S. regulated digital asset trading platforms. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be a part of that? It’s like being invited to the cool kids’ table, but with more spreadsheets and fewer snacks.

Remember when Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent said something vaguely positive and the whole market did a little happy dance? Yeah, that was cute. But like a bad sitcom, the plot twist came quick, and all those gains vanished faster than my will to exercise. Right now, BTC’s hanging around the $82,500 mark, down over1.10% in the last24 hours. And the trading volume? It’s dropped50%. It’s like throwing a party and only your weird uncle shows up. 🎉👴

Our dear Bitcoin, like a fickle lover, has been toying with the hearts of traders. The 1-hour chart is a sorry sight, with candles so small you’d need a magnifying glass to see them. Consolidating within a range that’s tighter than a Victorian corset, Bitcoin seems to be saying, “Decisive action? What’s that?” Scalping opportunities are the only silver lining in this cloudy market, but don’t get your hopes up too high—this is a game for the faint of heart and quick of wit.

In the grand theater of financial omens, this ‘death cross’ is the harbinger of a potential downturn. The50-day SMA, now languishing at $0.74 and descending, is eyeing the200-day SMA at $0.734 with a mischievous glint. This impending embrace suggests that the short-term momentum is faltering, trailing behind the long-term trend like a weary traveler.

Once a mere whisper in the market, Jeremie, the oracle of Bitcoin, urged the masses to invest when the price was but a dollar! “Trust me,” he said, “this coin has potential!” And now, he turns his gaze to Solana, declaring it could rise like a soufflé in an oven! But wait, there’s a twist! He claims that none other than the former President Trump shall be the catalyst for this grand price rally! Oh, the irony! 🎭