Back in November 2024, Dogecoin’s volume happily pranced around two-year highs, getting just about everyone’s attention. But faster than you can say “doggy biscuits,” that volume took a nosedive. The price dove, too, shedding over half its value in less than six months. Now, with daily trading seemingly on a juice cleanse below $5 billion, the outlook’s as bright as a solar eclipse at midnight.
Picture this, dear reader: some eccentric soul, perhaps touched by the spring fever or simply weary of life’s conventional paths, has committed an act of such magnificent absurdity that it deserves to be recorded in the annals of crypto folklore. They staked five kopeks worth of Solana, not for a day, not for a year, but for three thousand years! As if time itself were but a trifling matter! 😂
This unfortunate whale, possessing a staggering 67,570 ETH, lost a fortune when the asset plummeted by a dramatic 14% on the fateful day of April 6. His collateralized debt position on Sky, as chronicled by the astute DeFi Explore and the ever-watchful Lookonchain, met its untimely demise! 🥴
And get this – each time it happened before, it led to a total economic stshow. ‘Black Friday’, the housing bubble, bloody COVID. Now, we’re wondering if this ‘Tariff War’ is going to do the same. Fantastic. Just what we needed. 🙄
“One thing that’s true in crypto is that every time we’ve gotten an XRP spike, it’s been a local top in Bitcoin” — Joe Weisenthal (@TheStalwart) April 6, 2025
And lo! Bitcoin, that once-mighty titan of the digital realm, has taken a nosedive, plummeting over 10% to a rather disheartening sub-$78,000. This, mind you, comes after our pro-crypto President, who has appointed regulators with a penchant for digital assets, decided to unleash a torrent of tariffs. It seems that economic uncertainty has a way of making even the most ardent crypto enthusiasts reconsider their life choices. Who knew tariffs could be so… taxing? 😏
All this happened shortly after Uncle Trump announced titanic new import tariffs—basically telling the rest of the world, “I’m rubber, you’re glue, tariffs bounce off me and stick to you.” Naturally, folks fretted over doomsday scenarios like trade wars, economic slowdowns, and the possibility of not getting their Gucci bags on time. The crypto markets initially tried to strike a heroic pose last week, hoping Bitcoin would behave like a “safe haven” while tech stocks did an excellent impersonation of a sinking ship. But by the evening of April 6, that fairytale ended faster than my last New Year’s resolution.
Yet fear not, dear hearts! Our trusty key support level might just be the trusty butler holding the door open for PEPE’s next grand (and hopefully lucrative) entrance.
And yet, the altcoins! Oh, the altcoins! They languish in a purgatory of pain, with liquidations ballooning to the impressive figure of $900 million. It’s like watching a parade of marching clowns, only these clowns are sobbing uncontrollably.
So, the start of Q2 was supposed to be a fresh start, a new dawn, a chance for the crypto market to rise like a phoenix from the ashes. Instead, it decided to stay in the red, probably because it forgot to set its alarm clock. 🛌 Meanwhile, mid- and low-cap altcoins were having a field day, outpacing Bitcoin like it was standing still. Capital rotated into these assets like a game of musical chairs, driving double-digit gains and leaving Bitcoin to sulk in the corner.