This upgrade, the second act in a three-part tragicomedy known as the Fusaka roadmap, follows the Holesky testnet’s debut on October 1st. Sepolia, ever the diligent understudy, now takes center stage to stress-test the network’s new data-availability system and its audacious block gas limit. Soon, the Hoodi testnet will inherit this theatrical burden, a final dress rehearsal before the mainnet’s December premiere. 🎭🔍
Meet Garrett Bullish (alias: “I Absolutely Did Not See This Coming, Officer”), whose online sleuths swear is one “Garrett Jin.” In a X meltdown, he swears he’s never met a Trump, never mind taken clandestine tips from one. His defense? “I’m just really good at staring at charts while the world burns!” 📉✨ The controversy allegedly started after Binance’s CZ casually dropped Bullish’s personal info like a mic drop, turning the internet into a digital lynch mob. 🕵️♂️
Grab your sake and hold onto your bitcoins, folks, because Japan’s crypto darling, Metaplanet, is in a pickle! 🍣🥒 Once hailed as the digital gold pioneer, it’s now trading cheaper than its own Bitcoin stash. Talk about a symbolic crack in the market’s faith-or maybe just a bad case of crypto constipation. 💩💰
Bitcoin decides to give up on its bull-market dreams as sellers take full control. Sad, really.
Bitcoin, that fickle lover, slipped below $112K, leaving the market in a state of existential dread. The global crypto market cap, ever the drama queen, edged lower, with Ethereum, BNB, and XRP also posting losses. Traders, those brave souls, remain cautious following the massive $19 billion liquidation earlier this month. Market participants, balancing recovery hopes with risk management, seem to be playing a game of chess with a deck of cards. 🃏🌀
Oh, you know, just some casual large-scale ETH purchases and rising on-chain activity-totally normal in times of market panic. Investors are still in love with ETH, apparently. 💸
Nansen data showed that in the last 30 days, the number of successful transactions on BNB Chain passed 500 million, surging 151% from the previous 30-day period. The network is second only to Solana, which recorded nearly 1.8 billion transactions in that time frame. And just when you thought Solana was the king of transactions, BNB Chain came in with a 151% surge. Solana’s like, “Wait, what?” 🤯
Governor Gavin Newsom, a man who clearly woke up one day and thought, “Why *not* legislate the afterlife of Bitcoin?” has signed a law ensuring your forgotten crypto doesn’t get turned into state-owned monopoly money. 🚀
Ah, the great crypto circus! A wave of leveraged long liquidations has laid bare bitcoin’s equity sensitivity, or so says the august Citigroup. How very revealing, like a debutante’s first scandal. 💎