Michael Saylor, the co-founder with the gravitas of a prophet and the timing of a man who’s forgotten how to read a calendar, announced the acquisition on X. The purchase, executed between February 9th and 16th, was funded by the lifeblood of shareholders: ATM stock offerings. A Monday buy? Hardly. This Tuesday’s reveal was a nod to Presidents’ Day, as if the Founding Fathers themselves endorsed this fiscal tightrope walk.
Thailand’s Securities and Exchange Commission (the SEC, because they’re not creative enough to have their own acronym) has expanded its derivatives framework to include digital assets and carbon credits. Because what’s better than derivatives? Derivatives about carbon credits, of course!
Oh, you’ll never guess what clever little Sammy Bankman-Fried decided to declare mid-sentence! The fellow insists FTX was “financially sound” when it imploded like a soufflé in a hurricane, claiming the vaults were chock-full of assets-right when users discovered their digital piggy banks had been hollowed out by a cyber raccoon. He swears everyone’s been … Read more
But lo! An event of cosmic significance has occurred. Jupiter, the leading DEX aggregator of Solana, has decided that this dormant capital is far too precious to remain idle. With the launch of native staking as collateral on Jupiter Lend, we see the proverbial gates of liquidity swing open, inviting a flood of eager traders.
In this modern age of digital pecuniary exchanges, the year 2025 brings forth a most vexing alteration in the realm of taxation. Coinbase, that bastion of cryptocurrency, laments that the new rules may impose an undue burden upon its patrons and brokers alike. How trying it must be to navigate such bureaucratic entanglements!
Ethereum, having faltered in its ascent beyond two thousand and twenty, now mirrors Bitcoin’s plight. The price descended below one thousand nine hundred and sixty-five and one thousand nine hundred and fifty, plunging into a bearish abyss. One might almost pity the bulls.
The third article in the 15 part “Deconstructing DeFi” Series.
On the 16th of February, the blockchain oracle Arkham took to X to whisper, in a tone both conspiratorial and gleeful, that the U.S. government remains the proud custodian of a $22.5 billion BTC trove. “The US government is bullish on bitcoin,” they declared, as if announcing a new national pastime involving digital gold and bureaucratic vigor.
Darkfost, who presumably spends his days poring over charts that look like a spider’s first attempt at web design, claims these accumulators are now hoarding around 372,000 BTC per month. Back in September 2024, they were only grabbing 10,000 BTC monthly. That’s a jump so dramatic it makes the plot of a soap opera look understated. Apparently, these folks are playing the long game, ignoring the market’s tantrums and focusing on Bitcoin’s future like it’s a golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s factory.
XRP’s recovery stopped around the $1.66 level this weekend, which triggered a rather violent crash. According to CoinGecko data, XRP is currently down 7.5%, reaching an intraday low of $1.45. Because why not turn a decent day at the office into a plot twist?
