Category: Crypto news

So qntxxx and their trusty sidekick—let’s call them Robin to qntxxx’s Batman—launch into the market-making business in 2022, after the LUNA implosion. Because when a crypto exchange explodes, what do you do? Repeat the magic on the next one, obviously! They sniff around the smaller joints—Bitget, Gate, you know, the kind of places your mother tells you not to leave your wallet unattended.

Yet, around the corner lurks a greater beast: the Market Structure Bill, which, upon passage, will define the mighty fate of the Securities and Exchange Commission and Commodity Futures Trading Commission. Will the people know how their digital cowry shells are to be regulated? Will the candle burn at both ends, or simply sputter and leave us in darkness? Stay tuned, dear reader, for the next thrilling installment of Congress: The Reckoning.

MicroStrategy keeps gobbling up Bitcoin like a tubercular patient with a new batch of morphine, to the horror of the neighborhood finance doctors. Anton Golub—tech founder, entrepreneur, occasional raining-on-parades expert—warned the world that MicroStrategy’s gluttonous BTC acquisition has all the trappings of a Ponzi scheme. Allegations are flying faster than rubles in a 1920s breadline.

Hold onto your seats, folks, because in a recent court filing dated May 5, the defense attorneys revealed that, surprise surprise, the U.S. Treasury’s Financial Crimes Enforcement Network (FinCEN) had dropped a bombshell back in August 2023. Turns out, Samourai Wallet probably didn’t qualify as a licensed money transmitter under FinCEN’s regulations. Who knew? 🤔

As if to thumb its nose at all things predictable, open interest in XRP contracts has inexplicably tiptoed downwards by a miserly 0.3%, now lounging at $3.65 billion. You might expect a bustling ball, but the ballroom has emptied rather inexplicably. Perhaps everyone popped out for canapés?

In a riveting chat on CNBC’s Squawk Box, Lee proclaimed that Bitcoin has bounced back to dizzying heights—levels not seen since before President Trump’s infamous tariff announcement on April 2nd. And that, my friends, might just be the first hint that the stock market is about to soar like a rocket 🚀.

Not my car, but ❤️ the plate. Kyrgyzstan🇰🇬🙏

Among other things, also gave my advice to make #BNB and #BTC as the two starting crypto for the National Crypto Reserve.

Saw Chit Thu—his name as sharp as the edge of a cleaver—presides not over church or schoolhouse, but the Karen National Army, itself a force keener on mischief than prayer meetings. It isn’t merely war he’s fond of; no, he’s entered the electronic age, presiding over a new kind of battlefield—the cyber scam.

All this drama comes hot on the heels (or possibly cold on the tentacles) of XRP slipping below its 50-day Exponential Moving Average at $2.20. Market sentiment promptly plummeted, with technical indicators flashing redder than a Vogon’s poetry night. The Relative Strength Index now idles at 47, which sounds like a random bus number but actually implies people have chosen to sit firmly on their wallets and wait for the cosmic dust to settle. If momentum doesn’t pick up soon, the only thing left moving will be tumbleweeds—or their digital equivalent, “crypto dust.”

A peek behind the curtain (market data, if you must know), and what do we see? Bitcoin doing a 1.2% swan dive in the last 24 hours, trading at a respectable $94,195 on a dull Monday, May 5. North Americans were still awake—mostly because their portfolios kept pinging alerts.