Category: Crypto news

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single asset manager in possession of vast capital, must be in want of a little more Bitcoin 💸. And so it is with BlackRock, whose recent disclosures—far from demure—have rather set tongues wagging and investors fanning themselves in disbelief.

Meanwhile, market-watchers everywhere are practically tap-dancing. Optimism’s skyrocketing! Over on Polymarket, people are betting their crypto lunch money that approval odds have ballooned higher than my Aunt Shirley at a hot air festival.

Evidently, they’ve dusted off the ever-dramatic Form S-1, christening the fund the extravagantly titled “VanEck BNB ETF.” It’s to be tethered to BNB’s performance—one presumes with a velvet ribbon—and placed upon an exchange yet to be named (how mysterious!). As for the ticker, that too remains a closely guarded secret, like the true recipe for gin and tonic.

In true *drama-filled* fashion, Sun pointed fingers at some big names, including FDT CEO Vincent Chok and a couple of former executives who apparently had the keys to the kingdom—Christian Alexander Boehnke, De Lorraine Elbouef, Yai Sukonthabhund, Matthew William Brittain, and Cecilia Teresa Brittain. Yup, those ones. According to Sun, these guys were the masterminds behind funneling customer funds into who-knows-where. 🕵️‍♂️

Messieurs-dames, the latest uproar? The ECB extends its velvet-gloved hand to COTI, naming them Pioneer Partner (ooh la la—how très élégant!). The town criers at CryptoPotato relay that this partnership will have more collaborators than a gossiping French café, all scheming to sprinkle digital fairy dust across the continent’s currency.

After a rather volatile period, the price of MANTRA (OM) has dropped by 6.2% in the last 24 hours and is down an astonishing 94% over the past month. Once, oh so long ago (around Q1, to be exact), it seemed like OM was on top of the world. But alas, the fateful day of April 13 arrived, and with it, a crash that sent the token from around $6.30 to a measly $0.37 in the blink of an eye. It was like watching a majestic horse fall off a cliff. The market cap of MANTRA plummeted from a handsome $6 billion to less than $700 million. A true tragedy!

So here’s the play-by-play: U.S. stock futures and the dollar took a nosedive, gold flexed with a cute 1% lift, but Bitcoin… well, it slipped about 2%. Schiff, twirling his gold-plated mustache, couldn’t resist pointing his finger and saying, “Told ya so!” According to him, Bitcoin is just another risk asset in a faux gold jacket—a crypto Elvis impersonator in the economic Vegas buffet.

The new order is upon us. Europe, with all its ancient cathedrals and endless bureaucracy, has brought forth MiCA—yet another regulatory labyrinth, so that not a single coin enters the continent without a proper paper stamped and wax-sealed! Across the Atlantic, US lawmakers, inspired perhaps by a particularly strong cup of Starbucks, draft acts named STABLE and GENIUS. The acronyms are cleverer than the legislators, but that has never stopped progress before.

So, here’s the scoop: on May 9, a whopping 50 million MOVE tokens (a casual 2% of the total supply) are going to hit the market. And at the current prices, these bad boys are valued at a cringe-worthy $8.46 million. Meanwhile, 75.5% of the total supply, which is a mind-boggling 7.55 billion MOVE tokens, are still locked up tighter than your New Year’s resolutions.

The crux of this ambitious venture rests upon a lofty concept—Personal Infinite Intelligence. Sounds fancy, right? This isn’t just some theoretical fluff; it’s an open-source AI runtime that can operate on any device, without relying on the dreaded cloud or API keys. And wait for it… the cherry on top is that there is no single point of control. So, no more sweating over server outages or wondering if your data is being secretly sold to the highest bidder (thanks, big tech companies!).