Category: Crypto news

Bonk (BONK), that delightful dog-themed cryptocurrency on Solana (SOL), is the shining star of today’s crypto circus. Up by 4.4% in just 24 hours, Bonk (BONK) has targeted the magical $0.000017 mark, and it’s doing so on the back of rocketing trading volume—yes, volume so high it might make your head spin. According to CoinGecko, things are looking up for our little meme friend.

This enormous chunk of change is going straight into the hands of two organizations that are making a difference in education: DonorsChoose and Teach For America. Because who doesn’t love a little charity to make teachers’ lives a tad less stressful? These organizations are all about making sure teachers and students have the resources they need to thrive. 💪📚

Now, before we get into the nitty-gritty, let’s take a quick tour of what’s on the agenda for today:

CZ didn’t just regale the locals with yak-laden anecdotes or pose solemnly for photos. No, he tossed a proposal into the winds: “Why not BTC and BNB for Kyrgyzstan’s National Crypto Reserve?” he said, as casually as if suggesting new flavors for kumis. Perhaps next, he could recommend Dogecoin for their national anthem. 🐕

Those who have grown up under the heavy shadow of war and marriage in Tula province will recognize this pattern: a “rare phenomenon,” appearing with the regularity of a visit from a seldom-seen cousin who brings only trouble and dry bread. XRP’s price, supported by what analysts refer to as “solid support,” teeters on the edge, as if weighed between Anna Karenina’s fateful railway tracks and the fleeting happiness in Levin’s fields.

It was the second day of May, an ordinary Sunday, when VanEck—perennially restless investor of investors—slipped a filing, like an anonymous suitor slipping a note into a debutante’s glove, before the ever-watchful U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. Their plan? A fund whose only ambition is to mirror BNB price swings. Romantic, yes, but also subject to a ticker symbol that for now remains as secret as a Russian family recipe.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single asset manager in possession of vast capital, must be in want of a little more Bitcoin 💸. And so it is with BlackRock, whose recent disclosures—far from demure—have rather set tongues wagging and investors fanning themselves in disbelief.

Meanwhile, market-watchers everywhere are practically tap-dancing. Optimism’s skyrocketing! Over on Polymarket, people are betting their crypto lunch money that approval odds have ballooned higher than my Aunt Shirley at a hot air festival.

Evidently, they’ve dusted off the ever-dramatic Form S-1, christening the fund the extravagantly titled “VanEck BNB ETF.” It’s to be tethered to BNB’s performance—one presumes with a velvet ribbon—and placed upon an exchange yet to be named (how mysterious!). As for the ticker, that too remains a closely guarded secret, like the true recipe for gin and tonic.

In true *drama-filled* fashion, Sun pointed fingers at some big names, including FDT CEO Vincent Chok and a couple of former executives who apparently had the keys to the kingdom—Christian Alexander Boehnke, De Lorraine Elbouef, Yai Sukonthabhund, Matthew William Brittain, and Cecilia Teresa Brittain. Yup, those ones. According to Sun, these guys were the masterminds behind funneling customer funds into who-knows-where. 🕵️‍♂️