Category: Crypto news

Yes, comrades, through a historic pact between Ethena Labs and the enigmatic TON Foundation, USDe will invade all lands—Telegram’s chaotic native Wallet, the ever-vigilant Tonkeeper, and that rebel outpost, Mytonwallet. Finally, those yearning to escape the tyranny of physical cash can now stake digital dollars, much like you’d toss your last ruble on toncoin (TON) or Tether’s USDT. No lines at the bakery, just lines of code!

PI (yes, we’re on enthusiastic nickname terms now) is eying up a trend change, sashaying away from its tried-and-true habit of lazing about, doing very little. After some sideways action so dull even accountants looked away, we get bullish divergence—a flirty little move where price says, “Hey, I’ll go higher,” while RSI winks and does the limbo. Historically, when these two start their awkward dance, things heat up.

Eric Balchunas and James Seyffart—call them modern-day augurs—now assign heroic odds: 75% or better that the SEC, in a fit of uncharacteristic boldness or bureaucratic exhaustion, will open the doors by 2025 for a new parade of spot altcoin ETFs. Faith, fortune, and filling out forms!

Initially, Ripple—ever the calculating matchmaker—presented what their team felt was a dashing proposal, estimating Circle’s USDC stablecoin empire at a figure presumably plucked from a Brontean daydream. Too bad Circle’s board, with eyebrow arched and monocle polished, believed their desirability far outshone Ripple’s valuation. Following the script of the best society comedies, they declined to even gossip about the affair with Ripple, leaving the would-be acquirer consigned to the window seat, wondering where it all went wrong.

At the moment, ADA is up 3.94% in the last 24 hours to a whopping $0.703. Big win. But don’t get too excited – over the last week, it’s been pretty much a dumpster fire, with five out of six days in the red. So, the rebound is *definitely* something to pay attention to, like you would pay attention to your toaster when it starts sparking. Yesterday, ADA hit a low of $0.666 (hey, spooky), and now it’s at $0.709. Progress? Sure, let’s go with that.

According to the endless abyss of data—the kind only someone with a Dostoevskian penchant for self-torture would collate—Cryptometheus reports Cardano (ADA) notched 21,440 GitHub commits from 550 repositories. Ethereum, meanwhile, only amassed 20,998 commits across a mere 278 repositories—proof that quantity may not equal salvation, but it sure helps pad a résumé.

Their big ask? That the SEC, and specifically Commissioner Hester Peirce (who probably has the world’s most unread inbox), put some rules in place about staking that don’t, you know, squash all innovation or send crypto enthusiasts fleeing to the Scandinavian forests to build servers from birch bark.

Enter Solana, Litecoin, and the ever-fashionable crypto index funds, adorned in paperwork and optimism, each cartwheeling into 2025 with what Bloomberg affectionately calls a “90% chance” of approval. Yes, Grayscale, Bitwise, and Franklin filed their applications with the gusto of a Moscow cabaret. If giggling in the face of bureaucracy were an Olympic sport, these firms would medal.

And let’s be honest, the whole point of this stablecoin thing is to actually use it for stuff – not just watch it sit in your digital wallet collecting dust. But of course, it’s not just Visa jumping on the crypto train. Oh no, Best Wallet Token ($BEST) is already planning its Best Card to make crypto transactions as easy as a morning coffee. ☕💰

Our dear $SOL finds itself gathering courage at the $145 doorstep, glancing up at the stony visages of $170 and $180, as if trying to woo a pair of cold-hearted aunts out of giving it the evil eye. Bitcoin, ever the stoic uncle, looks much better behaved on its charts—perhaps too simple, as if pretending not to notice the commotion below. Should $SOL’s bulls manage to leap the descending banister and the horizontal hurdles, we might be in for a riotous season of bullish festivities. Or perhaps just more sideways sighing. Who can tell with family?