Crypto news

So, here’s the scoop: House of Doge and inKind, a super fancy payment platform with more than 3 million app users (that’s a lot of people ordering avocado toast), have signed an official love letter. This partnership means that Dogecoin will be the first crypto to slide its way into inKind’s massive network of eateries. You can now use your Doge to buy everything from sushi to craft beer at over 4,750 locations across the U.S. – because why not buy your meal with a coin that’s only famous for memes? 😎💰

It Involves More Cats)

Yet, in the grander farce of on-chain metrics, one discerns not the prelude to apocalyptic collapse, but rather a serene equilibrium, as if the crypto world were a dimly lit drawing room where no one dares raise their voice above a whisper.

This humble contribution will no doubt send a ripple through the world of free and open-source Bitcoin tech. With Tether’s help, more projects will receive the financial fairy dust they need to carry on with their life-changing, world-saving work. Or, perhaps, just build a better Bitcoin. Either way, it’s nice to know that even in crypto, charity begins with a stablecoin. 🙄

Following a capitulation event as dramatic as a Gogol nose, Pengu has found solace in the $0.023 support zone, a bastion of technical mumbo-jumbo. This region, reinforced by the 200-day moving average and the high time frame value area low, has proven as reliable as a Russian winter-unpleasant but predictable. Despite volatility that would make a bureaucrat’s head spin, the market structure remains as stubborn as a Gogol character’s obsession. Daily candles close above this support, a testament to buyers’ tenacity-or perhaps their sheer boredom. 🥱

Despite the tempest of market uncertainty, the whales-those silent architects of fate-have amassed their hoard, their movements as enigmatic as the human soul. Behold, 1.7 billion tokens, a treasure enough to buy a small kingdom, yet still the coin trembles, as if haunted by the ghost of its own folly. 🐟💰

The fund cements BlackRock’s claim as the ultimate reserve boss for stablecoins, offering liquidity, and somehow managing to obey the GENIUS Act like some sort of Wall Street wizard. ✨

Under the watchful eye of France’s esteemed ACPR and with nods from the Banque de France, ESMA, AMF, and the ECB, Lise now struts about as a fully regulated superstar. Think of it as mixing the hustle of a traditional exchange with the dazzle of blockchain elegance-all in one. Quite the coup, wouldn’t you say? It’s practically the Cannes of financial technology! 🎬💸

Pour yourself a cup of bitter reality and brace for the markets, which are screaming like a Gulag prisoner in winter. Gold is climbing like a bureaucrat up the Party ladder, and the so-called “experts” are as divided as a Soviet Politburo meeting. Is this the calm before the storm, or the storm before the calm? Who knows? Not us, that’s for sure. 🤷‍♂️

In this age of trembling portfolios and existential dread, gold’s ancient allure shines brighter than ever. Its stability? A relic. Its credibility? A myth. And yet, here we are, clutching bars like talismans against the storm of crypto chaos. Or is it just the storm inside our wallets?